Why

I keep in mind all the time that we spent together every since we were children. You were my oldest brother who I loved dearly. I looked up to you even though I never showed it. I loved you even though I never could tell you. I wish I could have told you at least once that I loved you so you would know how much I cared. I have so many memories of all the conversations and time we spend and wishing that I could go back to the day when I could just see your smile and even see your face. I dream all the time for you and hoping that this senseless murder was not true. How can someone one who you helped in their time of need just take you from me? I cry day and night asking God why. Why did he have someone you showed so much compassion for take your life? He took you from me, your brother, mama, dad, niece and most of all your daughter. It’s going on two years since I heard your voice. I can remember the funeral and how I was so sick seeing my brother laying there so peaceful in his casket. All I can do is look at you in your casket in disbelief asking God why? Why? Why? Why did you have to go away from me? I see you come into my dreams to let me know you were okay, but still wondering why he would take your life. Did he not see all you have done for him? I can sometime smell your scent and even see your body on your bed when I walk pass your room. I have to take a double take to see if you were there playing a joke on me but I then realize you are gone; gone forever. I know I will see you in heaven soon, but that is not stopping my pain now. I will never get over you and I am letting you know I have always loved you, but there will always be a question in my head of Why?