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I keep in mind all the time that we spent together every since we were children. You were
my oldest brother who I loved dearly. I looked up to you even though I never showed it. I
loved you even though I never could tell you. I wish I could have told you at least once
that I loved you so you would know how much I cared. I have so many memories of all the
conversations and time we spend and wishing that I could go back to the day when I could
just see your smile and even see your face. I dream all the time for you and hoping that
this senseless murder was not true. How can someone one who you helped in their time of
need just take you from me? I cry day and night asking God why. Why did he have someone
you showed so much compassion for take your life? He took you from me, your brother, mama,
dad, niece and most of all your daughter. It’s going on two years since I heard your
voice. I can remember the funeral and how I was so sick seeing my brother laying there so
peaceful in his casket. All I can do is look at you in your casket in disbelief asking God
why? Why? Why? Why did you have to go away from me? I see you come into my dreams to let
me know you were okay, but still wondering why he would take your life. Did he not see all
you have done for him? I can sometime smell your scent and even see your body on your bed
when I walk pass your room. I have to take a double take to see if you were there playing
a joke on me but I then realize you are gone; gone forever. I know I will see you in
heaven soon, but that is not stopping my pain now. I will never get over you and I am
letting you know I have always loved you, but there will always be a question in my head
of Why?

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