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Who Crowned You King?

Who crowned You king of the land Where innocence has feared to tread Where angels and demons play tug of war And i'm the rope stretched taut and thin my head lies deep in the sand i need You to speak in my stead i now wish to merge my voice with Yours And lift this thorny crown of sin ------------------------------------------------- I speak but cannot shout Translate to you my silent penchant your blackest nightmares cannot hide I hold you in the light of morning glow If ever you're in doubt Share with Me your dark intentions Come sit by ancient fireside And I will tell you all you need to know

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Debbie Guzzi

Date: 4/15/2009 5:47:00 AM

Great improvement, much clearer with the line break & the capital "Y's" & small "i's" / 2 the penitant speaks..2 the Savior speaks HUZZAH!May I beg...from periods LOL.........Light & Love

Debbie Guzzi

Date: 4/13/2009 1:48:00 PM

"And I'm the rope stretched taut and thin" excellent end concept/wrap up. Yet, Yoni, I am not sure who you are speaking to..with the title? not the same person you are speaking to whom you offer solace in the morn? And, my goodness you certainly can not know all there is to know about transgression?..I think..you need to tie the message togther more clearly. The "voice" is unclear perhaps another verse? light & Love

Carolyn Devonshire

Date: 3/25/2009 7:18:00 PM

Love the way you ask, "Who crowned you king of the land?" It really empowers the poem from the start and, boy, do you bring it home nicely, Yoni! As for Cayce, there is a center in Virginia Beach where his work is collected. It's called the Assoc. for Research & Enlightenment (A.R.E.). I was in contact with them while writing a novel about reincarnation. Good people. Love, Carolyn

Sara Lokken

Date: 3/24/2009 8:52:00 PM

There was a crescent moon in March. The moon learns not to rip the veil for every sky, but only on certain occasions, like October fall, to be full, open....because the moon has been hurt. It shows only a part of its face. And I love this poem, so emotional, raw, introspective. Best wishes, Sara

Arany P.

Date: 3/24/2009 4:44:00 AM

well done! your strenght is the way your bring out your pieces so well together... i love the end! ~ Arany

Donald Cauthon

Date: 3/23/2009 8:48:00 PM

Mystic and future sided. Good poem.

Jim Skinner

Date: 3/23/2009 8:20:00 PM

Well written,I like the use of our words to paint a picture.Also the use of "Morning"where everything is always better..........Jim