Who Cheers the Cheerleader?

To figure you out holistically, I need to wade the waters cautiously A snap of a band on my wrist Every time I think of this I had my fifteen minutes of fame When you needed a ride home And every traffic light enticed me to drive slow And that's another snap of the band on my wrist Every time I think of this Related with no obvious connection I had my fifteen minutes of fame When I finally caught you on the phone In the midst of a winning coin flip Between you hanging on the line or hanging up out of shame Were you biting your tongue too? My confessions were dancing on my gums like cocaine My mouth is my downfall I look around and see a world with nothing worth liking, I turn my head and see no breath worth taking I shrug, I don't see a sober moment worth enduring I get around, and meet no presence worth appeasing I could never analyze her thought process So naive to think I knew so much more about her Secret whispers so salacious with a skill for turning the wrong shoulders There's nothing left of this land to govern Watch me drift away, Then watch me cling onto this partition Effortlessly but hollowly, This isn't a solo vacation on a drifting island, This is a subconscious manifestation of my perdition A sinking rabbit hole in winter; If only the grooves in my brain could self contain in the form of zippers I look around, I see no remaining reasons worth conjuring I lift my head and see no foreign territory worth discovering I melt the frost from my shoulder, To reach back out after evading you comfortably But the emotional wreckage aside, What kills me to say, is sometimes I feel it's where I'm meant to be But this isn't me I see the planets as my glowing gallons of self control, But only hollowly 43 snaps of the band on my wrist When I think of this But process for a second why it could be, That I'm not the one haunted by the spirit of my contrition This feels like solitary solidarity! This is an external manifestation of my idea of perdition