Who Ate All the Pies

When they married he was as thin as a rake But his wife she loves to bake She thinks the way to his heart Is to practice her culinary art He’s been eating all her pies You should see his thunder thighs He’s in love, this he cannot disguise Now his tum is as wide as his eyes His wife puts on a good spread Has his fill then he falls into bed He’d love a bit more bedroom action But he can’t get no satisfaction Apple pies make him tired and sleepy His mum thinks he’s looking quite peaky He would love to go on a diet But his wife wont let him try it She says cooking is her passion As for sex that’s now on ration He can’t live like this any more Packs his bags and heads for the door Moves out and joins a new gym Loses weight and starts to get thin Meets a girl on an exercise bike Tells his wife she can 'go take a hike' Now he’s happy with the girl of his dreams And his clothes aren’t bursting at the seams 10~08~14 Contest:-Plentitude of Pies Sponsor:-Sheri Fresonke Harper ~awarded 15th place~
Copyright © | Year Posted 2014

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Mehta Avatar
December 9, 2014 at 10:09 AM
Yummy write, congrats on the win
Allison Avatar
December 9, 2014 at 10:47 AM
Many thanks Dr Mehta:-) hugs Jan x
Meier-Hans Avatar
December 9, 2014 at 9:44 AM
The guys a jerk. Leaving his sweetie pie. Congratulations on your win Jan.
Allison Avatar
December 9, 2014 at 10:46 AM
Thanks so much Brenda:-) Hugs jan xx
Jerden Avatar
December 8, 2014 at 8:10 PM
Maybe they needed to go on one of those TV shows. She's cookin' and he's bookin'! Will they work it out or hash it out? Congratulations!
Allison Avatar
December 9, 2014 at 1:02 AM
Thanks Roy:-) Hugs Jan x
Poteet Avatar
December 8, 2014 at 7:59 PM
Wow! what a twist at the end. Good write, Jan. Congratulations.
Allison Avatar
December 9, 2014 at 1:01 AM
Thanks so much Reason:-) Hugs Jan x
May Avatar
December 8, 2014 at 3:40 PM
Lol... nice one Jan...Congrats on your win
Allison Avatar
December 8, 2014 at 3:55 PM
Thanks Joseph:-) Hugs Jan xxx
Sietesantos Avatar
December 8, 2014 at 3:40 PM
Oh I love it - very clever write! Well done, Jan! Congratulations on a fine win! Warmest regards, Pandita
Allison Avatar
December 8, 2014 at 3:56 PM
thanks so much Pandita:-) hugs Jan xxx
Callus Avatar
December 8, 2014 at 2:42 PM
Hi Jan congrats on a lovely witty write; I'm with Earl on this one! Hugs // paul
Allison Avatar
December 8, 2014 at 2:46 PM
I saw many I would have placed higher Paul! Hugs jan xxx
Schumacker Avatar
December 8, 2014 at 1:53 PM
Congratulations Jan, You should have placed higher in my estimation. The last couplet was great. Funny poem. Keep up the good work. Earl
Allison Avatar
December 8, 2014 at 2:05 PM
Thanks Earl - your comment is worth more than any place in a contest:-) Hugs jan xx
Lamoureux Avatar
December 8, 2014 at 1:01 PM
the levity caused this pie to rise! congratulations.
Allison Avatar
December 8, 2014 at 2:04 PM
LOL Thanks Richard:-) hugs jan xxx
Harper Avatar
December 8, 2014 at 11:05 AM
Jan, oh, what a cruel man, I'm still with the pies. Thanks for entering the pie contest, truly wonderful submissions sent in, congratulations on your win.
Allison Avatar
December 8, 2014 at 2:03 PM
Thanks so much Sheri i had fun with this one:-) hugs jan xx
Mcintosh Avatar
December 8, 2014 at 10:50 AM
Congratulations, Jan... This is cute. Love and prayers for you, Gina
Allison Avatar
December 8, 2014 at 10:54 AM
Thanks so much Regina:-) hugs jan xxx
Mcdaid Avatar
October 10, 2014 at 9:44 AM
such a delightful piece of writing beautifully penned as always in your style
Allison Avatar
October 10, 2014 at 9:56 AM
Thanks Liam I do try to make people smile when I write and if I achieve this it makes my day:-) hugs jan xxx
Roberts Avatar
October 8, 2014 at 11:33 PM
Loved it Jan......Seren
Allison Avatar
October 9, 2014 at 3:57 AM
Thanks for dropping by Seren:-) Hugs jan xx
Duggan Avatar
October 8, 2014 at 8:03 PM
Jan you are a real whiz at writing these humorous poems, they really brighten up our day, good luck in the contest, take care my friend...........Vera........
Allison Avatar
October 9, 2014 at 3:56 AM
Thanks Vera I do try to make my poems funny if I can:-) hugs Jan xxx
Dietrich Avatar
October 8, 2014 at 3:45 PM
This is super, Jan!! You took the theme of pies and cooked up a cute funny poem!
Allison Avatar
October 8, 2014 at 3:50 PM
It started off as a 5 line limerick and like topsy it grew and grew LOl Hugs Jan xxx
Yvonne Avatar
October 8, 2014 at 11:56 AM
PLEASE VISIT MY LATEST WRITE.
Allison Avatar
October 8, 2014 at 2:24 PM
Right on over:-) Hugs Jan xxx
Yvonne Avatar
October 8, 2014 at 11:16 AM
I can't believe he left the pies for a bike. What a shocking twist. I guess he wheel miss the pies.
Chircop Avatar
October 8, 2014 at 2:25 PM
: )
Allison Avatar
October 8, 2014 at 2:23 PM
LOL Hugs Jan xxx
Petersen Potter Avatar
October 8, 2014 at 11:07 AM
Please dont look across the pond in my direction dear. That wasn't me for sure who ate your delicious pies, Jan. He was him! Lol haaahahaha. Just kidding this fine afternoon with you Jan. ;) very fine funny poem besides your famous pies. You made me smile reading it. I loved it! Good luck in this contest dear. Love peace and light to you! Hugs! xxxx D.
Allison Avatar
October 8, 2014 at 2:23 PM
Thanks as ever Dorian:-) Hugs Janxx
Manassian Avatar
October 8, 2014 at 9:38 AM
:) I do make a great apple crumb pie...but sex is better than any pie!!! ;) Good one, sweetie.
Allison Avatar
October 8, 2014 at 10:07 AM
Oh I agree Eileen lol hugs jan xxx
Callus Avatar
October 8, 2014 at 9:14 AM
Love your humour, Jan. I was expecting him to finally turn into the Pied Piper! hugs // paul
Allison Avatar
October 8, 2014 at 10:07 AM
LOL Paul:-) hugs Jan xxx
Chircop Avatar
October 8, 2014 at 9:09 AM
Hahahaha : ).I can't stop laughing Jan,You made my day : ).Hilarious!! I have a passion for cooking,but I am careful what to eat,so someone has to eat .it : ).Hubby eats a lot but not showing yet,though they say after forthy you'd be blessed.He just turned Forthy ladt August,so We ll see about that.I really love the story and the ending too: )
Allison Avatar
October 8, 2014 at 10:06 AM
Thanks for the lovely comment Charmaine:-) hugs Jan xxx
A. Sharma Avatar
October 8, 2014 at 8:25 AM
Wow yummy write Jan! Loved much!
Allison Avatar
October 8, 2014 at 8:41 AM
Thanks so much Dr Sharma:-) Hugs jan x
Smith Avatar
October 8, 2014 at 8:23 AM
Lol....yep .....luckily I'm the one who likes to bake....I do like pie though....mmmm.......hugs Tim
Allison Avatar
October 8, 2014 at 8:40 AM
I like baking and eating Tim... this started off as a 5 line limerick - lol:-) hugs jan xx
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