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Who actually is like us
The modern world you see today
Right before your eyes,
Who done this and who done that
Well you’re in for a wee surprise.

From the Bank of England to the Bank of France
Then we invented the BBC,
How the hell did we manage that
For a country that`s so wee.

We gave them the US navy
And the bible you still read today,
Vacuum flasks and lawnmowers
And sports you play to this day.

We gave the world its first round of golf
Shinty and ice hockey too,
Tatties and mince and potted hough
And we were the first to put dough balls in stew.


Because we invented football
And we even invented the rules,
We gave you the first text book surgery
For you to teach in our schools.

Radiation therapy and x-rays
 Ultrasound scanners and drips,
We gave you the first propellers for boats
And made the world’s first iron hulled ships.

We even invented the bicycle
Tablet tartan and fudge,
Swearing Bovril and irn bru
And were holding the world’s very first grudge.

Dundee cake and shortbread
And clooty dumpling too,
Jaikies wearing tracky`s
With a suit jacket and shoes.

Wire rope and tarmac
And the underwater coal seam,
Finger prints and Haggis
And even the tractor beam.

Tattie scones and fry ups
Cooked and soaked in grease.
James Bond porridge and Nessy
And we invented heart disease.

I`m sure we invented the carry oot
With some alcohol and juice,
A wee bit Highland dancing
In the comfort of your hoose.

Hame made soup and lime cordial
How could it ever go wrong,
But remember the rule don’t talk out of school
And there’s only one singer one song.


Forbes magazine and the New York Herald
The Aston Martin and Buick car,
Television fridge and toaster
And a hot deep fried Mars Bar.

Water proof Mac and the kaleidoscope
Bovril and marmalade,
Grand theft auto tikka massala
And even the Boys Brigade.

We invented defeating the Romans
So much that they built a great wall,
From the RAF to the SAS
We invented and defeated them all.

America’s first Pinkerton detective
Unrest and riots they quell,
We gave them red necks and hill Billies
But keep that bit to yoursel.

AC/DC Buckfast wine
We even invented the phone,
Dolly the sheep and cloning
And even the right to roam.

Colour photos the decimal point
To name but just a few,
Modern economics and hypnotism
To put a spell on me and you.

Modern geology and logarithms 
And the Higgs Boson particle theory.
Penicillin from a hypodermic needle
To make your wee eyes teary. 


Smallpox typhoid and TB
Millions they did slay,
The father of tropical medicine 
Scotland led the way.

From the encyclopaedia Britannica 
To radar and tubular steel,
We gave the world its first ATM
And invented the Falkirk wheel.

We gave you the world’s first steam engine
And lighting from coal and from gas,
We made the first flushing toilet
Where all your wee jobbies could pass.

We wear T shirts in the winter
Just like we do not care,
Civil engineering and the pneumatic tyre
Cordite and ginger hair.

When you go up north on holiday
A fond farewell we bid ye,
But  dinny wear a tartan kilt 
For we also invented the midgie.

Hogmanay is Scotland’s day
But we don’t do the grape and the wine,
The whole world holds a dram up
While there singing Auld Lang syne.

Were no to wee were no to poor
For centauries we’ve led the way,
Our day is coming shortly
For we invented democracy.

THE END

SAOR ALBA GU BRATH.
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