Whiskey, Pills, a Woman and Stumbling

What made me stumble, did I make fools of us ? Fear was in disguise and it overwhelmed. Oh, I remember so little of it, fragments of memory and spoken words whispered in my ear. The bar with the bodies packed in it, they seemed to flow as one to the redneck tune. I'm quieting the crowd, the band has stopped and everyone is all wide eyed. I'm holding my Colt pistol, waving it in the air, like it is a magic wand. My friend and companion "Bob" is at my side, he is watching my back during my relapse of Anger and Violence. Bob is more faithful than the one I'm after, he is my German Shepherd. Fear prevails in the silence, it is the shock of seeing someone they know SNAP, over the edge, I'm stumbling, about to fall over insanities edge. Darker days have returned, Panama, Columbia and more sweat soaked places where blood stained the ground. Whiskey and Zanax has led the way. I shout orders and make demands, the crowd parts, like the Red Sea, I'm Moses headed to my Israel, love is my God and I'm faithful to it. She is at the bar with a bearded man who has ran out of luck, because I'm out of patience. My wife's barstool spins around, we are face to face, my obective has been reached, paydirt is here. I'm in control, (not really) she flex's her little finger making me wince and says, what the hell you doin ? I say, you're comin home ! The bearded man is pleading, saying, I ain't done nothin with her ! I point the pistol his way and tell him, shut-up you're on hallow ground. All the while "Bob" is showing his teeth, looking real mean, my wife is ranting, pulling strings, switching my switches. Larry comes out of nowhere, in this place of drunken Rednecks, Cowboys and liquor hopes. He is my old boss and friend, I worked here for years. He says, what you doin son ? you're gonna end up in Jail ! We talk, reason unfolds. The ride to his house is dark and lonely, the moon is full and "Bob" seems to be watching it. The couch is comfortable, it sucks me in as the world weighs down on me. Bob is laying near, the whiskey and pills has made sleep unavoidable and memories of blood stains fade away. I awake, "Bob" is concerned and stays near me, he seems to have saddness in his eyes. Maybe he knows, I've been wounded by the woman I love and my stubborn pride. Refection does not come easy, but it seems the world is bigger and It doesn't look the same.