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Personal Note:
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Poem
What made me stumble,
did I make fools of us ?
Fear was in disguise
and it overwhelmed.
Oh, I remember so little of it,
fragments of memory
and spoken words
whispered in my ear.
The bar with the bodies packed in it,
they seemed to flow as one
to the redneck tune.
I'm quieting the crowd,
the band has stopped
and everyone is all wide eyed.
I'm holding my Colt pistol,
waving it in the air,
like it is a magic wand.
My friend and companion "Bob"
is at my side,
he is watching my back
during my relapse
of Anger and Violence.
Bob is more faithful
than the one I'm after,
he is my German Shepherd.
Fear prevails in the silence,
it is the shock of seeing
someone they know
              SNAP,
over the edge,
I'm stumbling,
about to fall over
insanities edge.
Darker days have returned,
Panama, Columbia
and more sweat soaked places
where blood stained the ground.
Whiskey and Zanax
has led the way.
I shout orders and make demands,
the crowd parts,
like the Red Sea,
I'm Moses headed to my Israel,
love is my God
and I'm faithful to it.
She is at the bar 
with a bearded man
who has ran out of luck,
because I'm out of patience.
My wife's barstool spins around,
we are face to face,
my obective has been reached,
paydirt is here.
I'm in control,
(not really)
she flex's her little finger
making me wince and says,
what the hell you doin ?
I say,
you're comin home !
The bearded man is pleading,
saying,
I ain't done nothin with her !
I point the pistol his way
and tell him,
shut-up you're on hallow ground.
All the while "Bob" is showing his teeth,
looking real mean,
my wife is ranting,
pulling strings,
switching my switches.
Larry comes out of nowhere,
in this place
of drunken Rednecks, Cowboys
and liquor hopes.
He is my old boss and friend,
I worked here for years.
He says,
what you doin son ?
you're gonna end up in Jail !
We talk,
reason unfolds.
The ride to his house
is dark and lonely,
the moon is full
and "Bob" seems to be watching it.
The couch is comfortable,
it sucks me in
as the world weighs down on me.
Bob is laying near,
the whiskey and pills
has made sleep unavoidable
and memories of blood stains 
               fade away.
I awake,
"Bob" is concerned
and stays near me,
he seems to have
saddness in his eyes.
Maybe he knows,
I've been wounded 
by the woman I love
and my stubborn pride.
Refection does not come easy,
but it seems the world is bigger
and It doesn't look the same.
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