While You Were Out

While you were out I started to think. I thought so hard that it drove me to drink. I drank so much that I fell on the floor And when I got up I fell through the door. I rolled off the porch and into the grass And onto a nail that stuck in my ass. I screamed in horror as I ran for the house And as I ran in I tripped on a mouse. As I was flying all up in the air I landed atop my wife’s favorite chair. The chair was now broken and fell to the floor at the same moment that she walked through the door. When I woke up I was outside my home and staring right into the face of a gnome. So if you ever sit down to think don’t ever let it drive you to drink.