While You Were Out
While you were out I started to think.
I thought so hard that it drove me to drink.
I drank so much that I fell on the floor
And when I got up I fell through the door.
I rolled off the porch and into the grass
And onto a nail that stuck in my ass.
I screamed in horror as I ran for the house
And as I ran in I tripped on a mouse.
As I was flying all up in the air
I landed atop my wife’s favorite chair.
The chair was now broken and fell to the floor
at the same moment that she walked through the door.
When I woke up I was outside my home
and staring right into the face of a gnome.
So if you ever sit down to think
don’t ever let it drive you to drink.
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