Where do i belong?

The weight of lives, lost and saved, presses on my soul. I’ve traded death for death, a grim currency that buys no peace. The battlefield is a cruel stage, where the hero and the villain share the same bloody spotlight. I’ve felt the cold satisfaction of a kill, a twisted high that numbs the conscience. Yet, the guilt that follows is a relentless torment, a phantom that haunts my dreams. I’ve rescued lives, pulled comrades from the jaws of death. But the hollow victory pales in comparison to the dark thrill of taking one. Where does a soul like mine belong? In the fiery depths of hell, a fitting punishment for the blood on my hands? Or in the ethereal paradise, where the wicked are denied entry? Perhaps neither. Perhaps I’m destined to wander the battlefield of eternity, caught in an endless cycle of killing and saving. Is it a loop? A cruel joke of fate, a twisted morality play? I don’t know the answer. All I know is that the war within me rages on, a battle far more brutal than any I’ve fought on the field.