When the Door Stays Locked

You’ll come Knocking on my door One of these days And you’ll know What it’s like To be able to feel your insides That uncanny descending feeling Like a rock being dropped In the ocean Buckling your knees With a thump of desperation On my porch Silence ringing In your ears so loud You can’t hear the door stay locked Confused By that stinging feeling In your bloodshot eyes As your cheek Suddenly is stroked In wetness Pulse tongue tied With the panic Of hopeless delusions Trying to shake Thoughts of my eyes Looking into someone else’s The same way I used to Delve into the mires Surrounding The windows To your soul Your maimed dignity Huffing up Callous dreams of me To help you Sleep At night And scoffing off My name To your friends Silently hoping That my wounds Are deeper than yours Covered in scabs Of lies Disloyalty and neglect While yours Are just paper-cuts Of rejection But you’ll brag of the pain For the embrace Of intoxication stumbling in high heels Leaning on Your self esteem The whole night While I’m Sleeping in the bed I made Dreaming of All my future plans While breathing at my own pace Accepting that Having an empty side of the bed Doesn’t mean I’ll be covered in loneliness Doesn’t mean I’ll lay restless at night Confessing my feelings to the ceiling