When Nature Calls

I strain against the rising tide
    But I find no solace there.
My only hope for some success
    Is to turn to fervent prayer.
Now you may think it childish
    But I care not what others say.
So leave me to my supplication
    And hope relief will come my way.

How did I come to this dilemma
    That has brought me close to tears?
The fault is mine and mine alone...
    I have lived too many years.
Old age is wrapped around me
    And Death taunts me with its laugh.
I turn to prayer to exhort dear Heaven
    To intercede on my behalf.

My battered body lies is in tatters...
    I've added ten inches to my waist.
I've enough ear hair to traumatize a sailor...
    I've lost my sense of taste.
Old age should not to be entered into lightly
    With its oddities and quirks.
But I've finally reached that stage of life
    Where nothing really works.

There were things I took for granted
    In the ignorance of my youth.
Those days are just a memory now
    As I confront this awful truth.
I am possessed with fear and panic
    And in pain I'm forced to stoop.
So sweet Jesus... Lord in Heaven...
    Why can't I take a poop?

                 The End

*Follow my cartoon at Webtoon Bob's Your Uncle
Copyright © | Year Posted 2021


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Date: 5/10/2021 12:13:00 PM
This write had me smiling and yes old age did creep up mighty fast. Your last line had me thinking of bran and prune to the rescue. Enjoyed this. love phyl
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David Mchattie
Date: 5/10/2021 4:35:00 PM
You are right. Where does the time go. I'm eating a bran muffin as we speak. Have a great day.
Date: 5/4/2021 8:15:00 PM
They say prunes keep you regular ..lol ..
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David Mchattie
Date: 5/5/2021 6:45:00 PM
I have a shot of prune juice every night before I go to bed. Vile stuff. Have a great day my friend.
Date: 5/3/2021 6:02:00 PM
Two footprints and a hole in the ground. The latest toilet for seniors: No more flushing; plops abound... lol. And they call it 'easing oneself,' too. Go figure, gw
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David Mchattie
Date: 5/5/2021 6:45:00 PM
Funny stuff my friend. Stay frosty.
Date: 5/1/2021 10:50:00 PM
Hello David ... what a fantastic poem to remind us oldies that we are not alone once the rot sets in - great indeed - Lindsay
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David Mchattie
Date: 5/2/2021 12:43:00 PM
You know you're old when all we talk about is the weather and the various pain we are suffering through. Such is the circle of life. Have a great day.
Date: 5/1/2021 9:26:00 PM
Oh, this is brilliant David, in many ways mirrors my own situation. You bring the age thing to life, and the way we can laugh at our selves also. Fav for me.
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David Mchattie
Date: 5/2/2021 12:40:00 PM
Being old sucks sometimes but being young is a million dollar experience I wouldn't pay a nickle to repeat. Have a great day my friend.
Date: 4/30/2021 11:19:00 PM
Marvelous! Know you are not alone in this. I really thought I'd never grow old and have problems. My parents warned me LOL FAVIng this, you talent you, Pangie xx
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David Mchattie
Date: 5/1/2021 4:49:00 PM
I thought you might like this one. It was fun to write. Have a great day my friend. Congrats on another POTD.
Date: 4/30/2021 10:22:00 PM
One word came to mind at the end --- Outstanding!
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David Mchattie
Date: 5/1/2021 4:46:00 PM
High praise indeed. Thank you my friend.
Date: 4/30/2021 8:02:00 PM
LOL. This is hilarious, David. LOL Thank you for the belly laugh!
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David Mchattie
Date: 5/1/2021 4:45:00 PM
Thanks Daniel. It's nice to find someone with my sense of humor. My wife says I stopped being funny ten years ago. Have a great day.
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