When Nature Calls

I strain against the rising tide
    But I find no solace there.
My only hope for some success
    Is to turn to fervent prayer.
Now you may think it childish
    But I care not what others say.
So leave me to my supplication
    And hope relief will come my way.

How did I come to this dilemma
    That has brought me close to tears?
The fault is mine and mine alone...
    I have lived too many years.
Old age is wrapped around me
    And Death taunts me with its laugh.
I turn to prayer to exhort dear Heaven
    To intercede on my behalf.

My battered body lies is in tatters...
    I've added ten inches to my waist.
I've enough ear hair to traumatize a sailor...
    I've lost my sense of taste.
Old age should not to be entered into lightly
    With its oddities and quirks.
But I've finally reached that stage of life
    Where nothing really works.

There were things I took for granted
    In the ignorance of my youth.
Those days are just a memory now
    As I confront this awful truth.
I am possessed with fear and panic
    And in pain I'm forced to stoop.
So sweet Jesus... Lord in Heaven...
    Why can't I take a poop?

                 The End

*Follow my cartoon at Webtoon Bob's Your Uncle
Copyright © | Year Posted 2021

Poem

Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem. Negative comments will result your account being banned.

Please Login to post a comment

Babcock Avatar
May 10, 2021 at 12:13 PM
This write had me smiling and yes old age did creep up mighty fast. Your last line had me thinking of bran and prune to the rescue. Enjoyed this. love phyl
Mchattie Avatar
May 10, 2021 at 4:35 PM
You are right. Where does the time go. I'm eating a bran muffin as we speak. Have a great day.
May Avatar
May 4, 2021 at 8:15 PM
They say prunes keep you regular ..lol ..
Mchattie Avatar
May 5, 2021 at 6:45 PM
I have a shot of prune juice every night before I go to bed. Vile stuff. Have a great day my friend.
Wolf Avatar
May 3, 2021 at 6:02 PM
Two footprints and a hole in the ground. The latest toilet for seniors: No more flushing; plops abound... lol. And they call it 'easing oneself,' too. Go figure, gw
Mchattie Avatar
May 5, 2021 at 6:45 PM
Funny stuff my friend. Stay frosty.
Laurie Avatar
May 1, 2021 at 10:50 PM
Hello David ... what a fantastic poem to remind us oldies that we are not alone once the rot sets in - great indeed - Lindsay
Mchattie Avatar
May 2, 2021 at 12:43 PM
You know you're old when all we talk about is the weather and the various pain we are suffering through. Such is the circle of life. Have a great day.
Horsman Avatar
May 1, 2021 at 9:26 PM
Oh, this is brilliant David, in many ways mirrors my own situation. You bring the age thing to life, and the way we can laugh at our selves also. Fav for me.
Mchattie Avatar
May 2, 2021 at 12:40 PM
Being old sucks sometimes but being young is a million dollar experience I wouldn't pay a nickle to repeat. Have a great day my friend.
Romios Avatar
April 30, 2021 at 11:19 PM
Marvelous! Know you are not alone in this. I really thought I'd never grow old and have problems. My parents warned me LOL FAVIng this, you talent you, Pangie xx
Mchattie Avatar
May 1, 2021 at 4:49 PM
I thought you might like this one. It was fun to write. Have a great day my friend. Congrats on another POTD.
Shadow Avatar
April 30, 2021 at 10:22 PM
One word came to mind at the end --- Outstanding!
Mchattie Avatar
May 1, 2021 at 4:46 PM
High praise indeed. Thank you my friend.
Turner Avatar
April 30, 2021 at 8:02 PM
LOL. This is hilarious, David. LOL Thank you for the belly laugh!
Mchattie Avatar
May 1, 2021 at 4:45 PM
Thanks Daniel. It's nice to find someone with my sense of humor. My wife says I stopped being funny ten years ago. Have a great day.
Get a Premium Membership
Turn off ads, get more exposure for your poetry, and get more features with a Premium Membership.
Book: Diverse Voices: The Poetry of Human Rights and the Pursuit of Peace