When I Was 18

When I was 18 When was 18, I wasn't worried about where my 21-year-old girlfriend was going to lay her head. When I was 18, my hoop dreams began to wane with the realization I was only junior varsity good. By the time I was 18, Desert Storm was two years over and joining the army was the furthest thing from my future. When I was 18, I had two choices for school, a HOPE grant and a couple hundred dollars mom handed me. When I was 18, I didn't know what life had in store but I was looking high and low for more. Life had its own direction. It didn't have so many forks in the road and unlearned lessons. I saw Rodney King. I saw those things, but I was young enough to believe the world gets better. When I was eighteen, I didn't expect in a few years I would have a family, bills, and computations for life insurance deductibles. Never thought the 41-year-old me would be talking to 18-year-old you. When I was 18, it was expected to venture out, test the waters, see what life's about. As matter of fact, we yearned for independence. Knowledge and work ethic was our inheritance. When I was 18, my world wasn't being ripped apart. Maybe I was oblivious. Maybe dollar signs directed my existence. When I was 18, I was looking beyond the four walls of home. I wanted to be a Park Ranger, live a life of sex, drugs and danger. (It's a running cadence) I grew up rather quick, figured out college wasn't it. Joined the Army and been running ever since. You're 18 now, and as a father, as a man, I've never been more unsure. You face problems I didn't have in front of me. Didn't really have a dad with all of his "oughta-be's" When I was 18, I couldn't comprehend. Scary knowing the world is worse than what it was. I want to keep you, but for life and love, I gotta release you. I pray my words keep you. When I was 18, I believed in dreams, and you are one that has come true. I believe in you.