When He Left

when someone leaves it is so loud so personal so silent a deafening emptiness with a middle ear only you can hear you are not coming back you are never coming back I have to know that right so there will never be an indefinite you and me Three AM's are the worst left aching for peace you remember I said when time goes to sleep the in-between time when moments cease when tomorrow gave up yesterday still I miss the fragrance of your pleasure a voice that satisfies the melody of a tender string that did not know it was holding together a life that would never be but your vibrations are all around still velvet passionate silver raindrops they linger knowing me finding me I know you rarely think of we you moved up and I moved around still you a most beautiful drug now a humiliating habit now I creep for a stranger not to worry they said social media is not a danger profile up smile for the camera cry into the wine hurry you don’t have much time I was a victim of a monster and now the monster to a victim feeling hysterical in a smiling room of misery hoping he will provide the ultimate release from the last shot that crippled me but still I clutch the jagged edges needing to survive the nights when there are no safe ledges doesn’t have to be quality just a momentary remembrance that satisfies the pain just so I might cry with some dignity when I stand lonely in the rain please just find the trace the touch he left all over hours of me I am lost in a pirouette far off away into his source wondering where is this place that lost love goes if love never dies I would want to visit there and apologize so what happens to the lover who is not ready to walk alone