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Personal Note:
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Poem
when someone leaves
it is so loud 
      so personal 
                so silent

a deafening emptiness 

with a middle ear 

only you can hear

you 
are
not coming back

you

are 

never 

coming back


I have to know that

right

so

there will never be 

an indefinite 

you and me


Three AM's 

are the worst


left aching for peace


you remember I said

when time goes to sleep


the in-between time 

when moments cease


when tomorrow 

gave up yesterday

 
still

I miss

the fragrance of your pleasure

a voice that satisfies


the melody of a tender string

that did not know


it was holding 
together

a life 
that would never be

but

your vibrations

are all around still

velvet passionate 

silver raindrops



they linger


knowing
me


finding
me 


I know

you rarely think of we


you moved up and I moved around


still you

a most beautiful drug


now a humiliating habit


now

I creep

for a stranger


         not to worry they said

 
social media
 
is not a danger


profile up

smile for the camera

cry into the wine


hurry you don’t have much time


I was 
a victim of a monster

and now
the monster to a victim


feeling hysterical 

in a smiling room 

of misery


hoping he

will provide

the ultimate release 


from the last shot

that 

crippled me


but still 


I clutch 

the jagged edges


needing to survive

the nights 

when there are no 

safe ledges 


doesn’t have to be quality


just a momentary 

remembrance
 
that satisfies 

the pain


just so I might cry 

with some dignity

when I stand lonely 

in the rain

 
please just find the trace

the touch
 
he left all over hours of me


I am lost in a pirouette

far off away into his source 


wondering

 
where is this place 

that lost love goes


if love never dies

I would want to visit there

and apologize


so


what happens 

to the lover

who is not ready


to walk alone
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