When
When I walk,
I hide that my balance is off.
That I lean to one side.
That I can hardly keep my form above my knees.
When I talk,
I think for hours about what I will say.
Unable to talk like I want to.
Go through my whole day before I ever experienced a single thing.
When I think,
October dew clouds my mind.
My prison sentence grows longer.
Things I should be able to do.
I no longer can.
When I see.
A fuzzy tv screen is what I see through.
My heart beat is seen in the scenery.
Every bird flying by.
Feels the pulse of my being.
When I hear,
My mind pauses everything else.
For my time is slowed beyond the world.
But the world moves forward.
While my ears are left in suspense.
When I feel,
My body wants more than what I can,
supply.
No matter how much I put forward,
My emotions always hide.
When I touch,
The numbness in my mind grows.
I feel faint traces of what is before me.
My hands are frozen, in stasis.
My nails raw from the harsh storm.
When I learn,
I memorize and remember everything,
But when the time comes to use it,
My mind falters, blanking, losing interest.
Im not who I used to be.
When I grow,
I hold close to who I am,
Find my inner being and ignite that fire.
But soon the flames are smothered out,
By forces that my mind is deprived of.
Then I’m forced,
To walk a path.
To stay in line.
To hide my pain.
To blanket my mind.
I can’t feel what I need to anymore.
Copyright © Jordan Foster | Year Posted 2018
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