What kept me going
Alarm buzzes, eyes awake and sheets unwillingly ripped off me like a band-aid on a hairy leg.
The air has a taste much like a mix of lavender and vanilla.
I slowly and carefully swing these things I call legs off the bed to meet the floor with a thud.
The floor stabs me with its icy unforgiving surface.
The pain feels like stepping on a bed of nails.
I drag my lifeless body up to my closet, there’s a million suits there.
But nothing to wear.
So, I decide to wear the same suit I wore yesterday.
My boss won’t notice I am wearing the same thing I wore yesterday if I change my tie, right?
The seat at the kitchen table where my wife used to sit is now empty.
It’s been a year since she took her final breath.
The coffee cup our son bought her still sits there waiting to be drank from.
She used to tell me when I made the coffee in the mornings “I want 2.5 creams and 1.5 sugars”
So id round up and put 3 shots cream and 2 teaspoons of sugar in her coffee.
She never did notice the extra sugar or cream.
I finally decide to step outside to face the world.
Upon opening the door, I am greeted with the same icy feel I felt on my feet
This time it unforgivingly slaps me across the face
The front door to what was once my humble abode now has become my own personal hell.
The days of coming home every day to meet my wife at the door are now gone.
What was once my favorite part of the day has now become the most dreadful thing I do.
Instead of sitting down at the kitchen table and eating my wife’s home cooked meals
I sit down at the couch with a can of Rockstar and the remote in hand.
I guess I can say, what kept me going was my wife.
Now that she’s gone, will I ever be able to live a happy life?
Copyright © Nate Wieland | Year Posted 2017