What I'Ve Gone Through
Don’t you ever feel insecure?
Don’t you ever feel like your worthless?
Will I ever find some sort of cure?
Will I survive this feeling of hopelessness?
There are ghosts in the shadows
You got me with your many blows
Felt low, but want to feel high again
Blissfully, I count to ten
One, two, three
Gleefully, I flee
Four, five, six
My heart needs a fix
Seven, eight, nine
Your words are like sugar and wine
And lastly, ten…
Here it goes again and again and again
Ah, believe it or not,
I’m not convinced by anything you say to me
You are the one I sought
Now, I don’t even know anymore, you see?
Consumed by the flames of yesterday
It’s amazing how you move me today
But, you can’t love the unlovable
Either can you fix the unbreakable
Take a deep breath and dive into me
Purge out the wretched sorrow
Break away from the thoughts of set me free
Fighting the urge to let go of tomorrow
Building the courage to say goodbye
Don’t cry for my absence and everything in between
Promises of your arrival got me happy I can’t deny
Don’t fly away from my grasp…how come you’re so mean?
I can’t save you from yourself for long
I will not be your rescuer
You’ve wronged me…now, I long to belong
I will not be here forever
You keep on yearning for my attention
You keep on clinging on to me like some insect
I have nothing to do with your intervention
What about you start earning back my respect?
It was a mistake to leave you behind
I’m fed up with the thought of losing you once more
You’re a treasure that I cannot find
I’m bred with the muse of nevermore…nevermore…
I don’t care if it burns me so
I want you and I need you somewhat
I don’t mind if you steal the show
I’m going to still go by my gut
Stop corrupting my headstrong mindset with your hatred
You leave blemishes of shackled glory upon my head
Breathless and speechless, but I got to let you know
That you got me hypnotized by the rhythm and tune of reaping what you sow
Am I the only one that is trapped in temptation’s hold?
Am I the only one that must stand up and be bold?
Why do you love the hated and hate the loved?
I thought you were called the precious beloved?
The comfort zone you find so comforting is now gone
You’re all alone, but not on your own…you’ll be honed
The ringing phone in your hand has been ignored and so on
I bet this future date we’re having is going to be post-poned
Did you notice me, echoing your name of empathy?
Did you hear me, hiding my shame of unspoken vanity?
I guess you’ll move on like the rest of them did
I suppose I have more farewells and see-ya-laters to bid
Still, I can’t hide from the truth behind the lies
Will you support me, even though hardships take its toll?
My soul lifts from the ground below me – I still hear its cries
Adoring you is killing me, but I feel alive in your arms as a whole
I’m unprepared to meet my fate
The future is bringing up the past
Practically, I feel like I’m too late
Hey, at least our hopes are vast
Ten, nine, eight
Weighed down by this woeful weight
Seven, six, five
I will survive…I’m alive…like bees in a hive
Four, three, two
Who knew you’d be out of reach too
One, zero, negative one
I am not going to be led astray by no one
Someone like you…
Somebody that is of rue…
You haven’t a clue…
Of a single thing I’ve gone through!
Copyright © J.W. Earnings | Year Posted 2018
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