What Happens

Never in my life would i have thought I would see the end of my road before me. Never would i have thought my life would be in the hands of another person. That they would be the one to choose whether I live or die. Never would I imagine everytime I close my eyes I would see him choking the life out of me. But here I am living the things I never thought I would see. Everytime my chest burns from the cuts he left it makes me re-live it all, as if it was yesterday. Will I be able to let this go? Will I ever not have that vision in my head? Or will I let it torture me to the point of no return? At this point, I do not know. All I know is that it is tormenting my mind, To where when alone all I want to do is cry. I just want it to go away, to leave my mind. So I can go about and have a normal day in life. No family to run too, for all they say is "what were the circumstances" to what i have to say... What kind of father says that when you are raped and almost killed? They tell you they are there for you no what, but when things happen they only know how to criticize, not comfort. Why would anyone run to a family like that? They wouldn't, that's why I'm in this alone. They will never know how hurt or scared I am from the things that have happened. For I would rather go through traumatic events on my own then be hurt even more by the ones who are supposed to comfort and love. I know I have made mistakes, for i am merely human. But I did not want or ask for these things to happen. I believe everything happens for a reason, but that does not mean you still do not need someone there to help you through it, to help you deal. Until the day I find someone who truly cares, I am on my own.