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Week 2 - Stages By Herman Hesse - a Second Translation Revised

As ev’ry flower wilts and ev’ry youngster 11 Must age, so manifests each stage of living, 11 All wisdom blossoms too and ev’ry virtue 11 Enjoys its time, and cannot last forever. 11 At ev’ry call of life, the heart of man should, 11 (Without regret and wrapped in heroism) 11 Embrace each new departure, each commencement, 11 And find your joy in life’s imagination. 11 There’s magic to be found at each beginning 11 That always shelters us and helps us prosper. 11 So let us calmly move from place to place then, 11 And cling to no abode as destined lodging, 11 God's “God” would never chain or confine dreaming, 11 But guides us toward still waters, greener pastures. 11 Beware though! Homelike shelters, creature comforts, 11 Can tempt the heart to let down its defenses. 11 Those bound to naught, at home with revolution, 11 May yet escape the worst of life’s bad habits. 11 Perhaps we’ll find that even hour of dying 11 Will challenge us with new and sweeter vistas? 11 Might life’s call to embark be never ending? 11 I think so! Heart! Lift up your eyes! Farewell then! 11 Herman Hesse – From his novel, The Glass Bead Game Translation by Brian Johnston Poet’s Notes: This translation mimics Hesse’s poem by forcing each line to contain 11 syllables and ending and beginning each line with a soft rather than a hard syllable. But it ignores rhyming and uses fewer of Hesse’s original words. His meaning however is jealously guarded still! I always use a rhythmic notation such as follows next to work on original rhyming poems that I write. I think this technique greatly helps a poet to see the weaknesses in his early drafts. All poetry should make a supreme effort though I think to avoid “Poet Mouth,” to twist the normal flow of conversational English to make rhyme easier or to incorporate a familiar phrase the poet wants to use. Language flow should remain a sacred thing for any poet I believe. Those who fault my using "ev'ry" (2 syllables) instead of "every" (3 syllables) should take note that even Hesse used a similar device in the 4th line of the 2nd stanza. Stufen Wie jede Blüte welkt und jede Jugend - / - / - / - / - / - 11A Dem Alter weicht, blüht jede Lebensstufe, - / - / - / - / - / - 11B Blüht jede Weisheit auch und jede Tugend - / - / - / - / - / - 11A Zu ihrer Zeit und darf nicht ewig dauren. - / - / - / - / - / - 11C Es muß das Herz bei jedem Lebensrufe - / - / - / - / - / - 11B Bereit zum Abschied sein und Neubeginne, - / - / - / - / - / - 11D Um sich in Tapferkeit und ohne Trauern - / - / - / - / - / - 11C In andre, neue Bindungen zu geben. - / - / - / - / - / - 11E Und jedem Anfang wohnt ein Zauber inne, - / - / - / - / - / - 11D Der uns beschützt und der uns hilft, zu leben. - / - / - / - / - / - 11E Wir sollen heiter Raum um Raum durchschreiten, - / - / - / - / - / - 11A An keinem wie an einer Heimat hängen, - / - / - / - / - / - 11B Der Weltgeist will night fesseln uns und engen, - / - / - / - / - / - 11B Er will uns Stuf’ um Stufe heben, weiten. - / - / - / - / - / - 11A Kaum sind wir heimisch einem Lebenskreise - / - / - / - / - / - 11C Und traulich eingewohnt, so droht Erschlaffen, - / - / - / - / - / - 11D Nur wer bereit zu Aufbruch ist und Reise, - / - / - / - / - / - 11C Mag lähmender Gewöhnung sich entraffen. - / - / - / - / - / - 11D Es wird vielleicht auch noch die Todesstunde - / - / - / - / - / - 11A Uns neuen Räumen jung entgegensenden, - / - / - / - / - / - 11B Des Lebens Ruf an uns wird niemals enden . . . - / - / - / - / - / - 11B Wohlan denn, Herz, nimm Abschied und gesunde! - / - / - / - / - / - 11A Herman Hesse

Copyright © | Year Posted 2017




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Date: 4/16/2017 2:24:00 AM
This is absolutely a beauty now... I know that Hesse used rhyme, but by mimicking hiw iambic style with the same number of feet, one doesn't even notice the lack of rhyme anymore. And that is exactly what I love about Blank Verse. Your translation is beautiful, and poetic. Well done!! Happy Easter, Brian :)
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Date: 4/13/2017 2:06:00 PM
I was wondering.... Have you tried to do this translation in iambic pentameter Blank Verse? It would still not rhyme, but it would mimic the meter and cadence....
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Darren White
Date: 4/13/2017 11:51:00 PM
Heh, sorry, I didn't mean to criticize, I was overly enthusiastic... Yes, that is what I meant, I love this, it runs so smoothly.
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Brian Johnston
Date: 4/13/2017 6:42:00 PM
Believe it or not that is what I intended to do originally but got lazy I guess. I think that this is what you are asking for. My pleasure I assure you!
Date: 4/8/2017 2:11:00 PM
wow wow wow, I loooove this! I translate myself from Arabic, and know a lot about prosody and poetics. I can read German too, and this is awesome. The hard and at the same time fun is, that you have to make that choice. Do you stay close to the original meaning, and discard rhyme? Or do you follow meter? Or do you rhyme, moving a little more away from the original to be able to rhyme fluently and normally? I love those discussions too.
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Darren White
Date: 4/8/2017 2:14:00 PM
And I see what you did here, and I think it's great, I read both poems you posted. What you did with the original, I always do too with my Arabic poems :)

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