Weak Thoughts

Why, I forever ask myself When deep below the oceans surface Never, would I reach for your hand For you witness fear deep within my eyes The sweetest kind of lie, perhaps, You spoke It was so softly you cried it to me As I felt desperation take hold of my heart It was through a different hue I watched As I sunk deeper below Afraid of the world you held out to me And as I pleaded to the seas’ Never once could I be allowed to hold it Slowly, I learned to breathe Through this world of dense blue tears Forever slightly transparent, from your sight A birds eye view, perhaps As I witness a smile on your lips Your eyes connecting with mine, as I suffocate Perhaps never knowing, Just how deeply I was wounded Through eyes of diamond lay one lone memory Of a time, when I was a child As passers by stopped, and stared into my soul So blue, they would say Moving on, Without so much as a whisper of after thought Slowly would I reach for them all Oh, so slowly For it dawned a memory of mine Of a time when I had never heard your words Never knowing why it hurt me so For knowing now, it hurts both ways Should I be allowed this breathe of air? Your own words said it all Never Yet I will never, in my life, cease this feeling Will I? For I play my final moments on repeat As you said, “I love you” Before you held me blow the water Oh, sweet mother