Notes About The Poem

Want to thank Julia Ward for inspiring this poem. She came up with the watery sun theme and invited me to a write a poem.

Watery Sun

As summer’s hope dreamt it had caught him,
days tallied boardwalk planks one by one.
Candles became golden skies burned dim
beyond evening’s watery sun.

How I tried to help you with my friend,
but she had built a sandcastle there.
Only time and advice left to lend
on a beach came that one morning’s glare.

Another wound to scar that bled youth,
ran over before it had begun.
By the grains of chance and a tanned truth,
tides washed another watery sun.


11.25.15

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Husna Chikwela

Date: 8/16/2022 5:49:00 AM

Waoh

Funom Makama

Date: 1/25/2016 11:39:00 AM

Beautifully woven words as well prepared seeds for a perfect germination on any reading mind. An awesome 7 dearest poet

Eileen Manassian

Date: 12/27/2015 4:17:00 PM

Love the imagery in that first stanza...especially the second line. How creative. I lack in this aspect. I can't quiet seem to get the ability to create word pictures....I see congrats are in order for this one. :) Thanks for the visit today. I did appreciate it so much. Hugs

Eve Roper

Date: 12/19/2015 1:15:00 PM

Congratulations , Rob , on a great win!

Skat A

Date: 12/15/2015 11:29:00 PM

ROB, Congratulations on your win. **SKAT**

Julia Ward

Date: 12/15/2015 1:09:00 AM

Well done on your win, Rob... // To other Soupers. Having suggested the title to Rob, I also wrote my version of "Watery Sun" on 11/25/2015. Please check it out.

Susan Gentry

Date: 12/15/2015 12:12:00 AM

Well written. 'ran over before it had begun'... Congratulations!

Andrea Dietrich

Date: 12/14/2015 6:55:00 PM

So glad to see you high on the winner list of a superb judge like Charlotte. Frankly, I can't even recall if I entered this one. If I did, I sure did not get anywhere. hahaha. BIG congrats, my friend.

Paul Callus

Date: 12/14/2015 3:41:00 PM

A lovely and creative poem that needed an extra read to fully digest. #7 Congrats on your fine win. // paul

Rob Carmack
Date: 12/14/2015 3:54:00 PM

Thank you Paul.

Barbara Gorelick

Date: 12/14/2015 2:27:00 PM

Congrats Rob, enjoyed the read. Glad it placed so well. Bg

Rob Carmack
Date: 12/14/2015 3:55:00 PM

Me too Barbara, thank you for reading and commenting.

Charlotte Puddifoot

Date: 12/14/2015 10:53:00 AM

well, you're not a new name to me, but i think a new name on my winners' lists! this is very well written; tidy, accomplished write - i particularly like "a tanned truth" - congrats on your win in my contest!

Rob Carmack
Date: 12/14/2015 3:53:00 PM

Thank you Charlotte for my my placement and for commenting.

Balveen Cheema

Date: 12/14/2015 10:52:00 AM

Well titled and symbolic, Rob! Congrats!

Julia Ward
Date: 12/15/2015 1:11:00 AM

I gave the title to Rob, Balveen. See Rob's Notes above the poem.

Rob Carmack
Date: 12/14/2015 3:55:00 PM

Thanks Balveen.

Andrea Dietrich

Date: 12/3/2015 3:27:00 PM

Lots of great symbolism here, Rob. I love that image Watery Sun. It really sets the tone for this kind of write.