Wallet Weeps As Woebegone Former Mister Or Missus Snake

Listen...carefully, and ye kin hear the muffled (dollar us - dolorous) sound ache king plaintive very loosely analogous to duck cry of mourning, didst awake ken to the somber news solemnly shared by me - Doctor Quackenbush, sans strapping beefcake quaking counterpart, thee lifetime beau he mien (rhapsodic) paramour got betake hen to "Heaven's Gate," after getting bitten by a blacksnake, which squished, slithered, and shimmied secretly stole said tasty morsel without brake king (her/his) stride, and dug poisonous (scorpion like) fangs geese hilly as one would slice cake, which revelatory brief anecdote mentioned cuz, this medical professional caretake person, (whose doppelganger quadruples, i.e. moonlights as an expert 1. cheesecake maker, 2. fisherman known far and wide (across four compass points of the globe) as one awesome clambake expert, 3. seismograph specialist predicting, where and when an earthquake will strike, and 4. hide bound blithe tanner preparing leather made goods, particularly handsome wallets (sewn from snake skin), the most popular item (possibly because, one crisp Benjamin Franklin legally tendered secreted within a pouch), thus upon cutting open (preparation for crafting bill folds) this one well fed squamate, lo and behold revealed poor soul mate, which family member Anatidae resembled friedcake.