Jan Allison Poet Light Verse

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Vacancy To Fill One Lonely Heart - For Contest

My Ex Husband:-

Lied to me
Was often drunk and violent
Belittled me
Spent all my money
Ran off with my best friend ...


HE’S FIRED!

Position is now vacant

the new applicant needs to be:-

Honest
Teetotal and gentle as a lamb
Stand by me through thick and thin and not put me down
Solvent enough to buy me the odd bunch of flowers or an orchid
Loyal – (the only real friends I have left are male!)

If you think you can fill this position ...

YOU’RE HIRED!

Contest: The Interview – Judy Konos
7th June 2015
Jan Allison

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Judy Konos July 4, 2015 at 6:11 PM Excellent but then when are you not? Jan Allison July 4, 2015 at 6:18 PM Thank you my friend:-) hugs Jan xx

Kp Nunez June 30, 2015 at 7:23 AM Back to congratulate you, my friend. How've you been? I see you're back. Hope all is well. Jan Allison July 4, 2015 at 4:30 PM thanks for dropping by Kim:-) hugs jan xx

Eve Roper June 27, 2015 at 6:33 PM Hello dear friend, I love this, sometimes firing an old husband would be nice if it was that easy. How about a computer chip to reprogram our mates. a 7 hugs Eve Jan Allison July 4, 2015 at 4:30 PM great idea Eve lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Skat A June 26, 2015 at 3:26 PM Hi Jan, Congratulations..... **SKAT** Jan Allison July 4, 2015 at 4:29 PM thanks :-) hugs Jan xx

Poet Destroyer A June 26, 2015 at 2:42 PM Jan <3 Congratulations on your win. Love Linda Jan Allison July 4, 2015 at 4:29 PM thanks :-) hugs Jan xx

Judy Konos June 26, 2015 at 11:41 AM Thank you for entering my contest Jan Allison July 4, 2015 at 4:29 PM thanks for a great contest Judy:-) hugs Jan xx

James Fraser June 10, 2015 at 3:35 PM You never mentioned being late. I'm at the Quayside awaiting the Ferry. Being ex Navy, I'd rather sail to Douglas, erm Jan, not Douglas, that's the Capital. Phew, you never mentioned being dumb either ;-) hugs always, James xx Jan Allison June 10, 2015 at 3:39 PM lol thanks James I just hope they have the apprentice elsewhere so others understand the humourous aspect here:-) Ohhh I hate people being late it is so irritating my ex used to do it - no wonder he is an ex :-) Hugs Jan xx

Jaycee Cervenka June 9, 2015 at 4:23 PM Jan one of the marks of a good writer is that they can write from another point of view in a believable way. And those who do not know anything about you will believe this whole heartedly. Wonderful job! ;-p Janet Jan Allison June 9, 2015 at 4:25 PM Thanks for the lovely comment Janet I simply have to go with the flow of my pen over which I have no control! hugs Jan xx

Gary Bateman June 9, 2015 at 5:30 AM Jan, I like this one. How artful indeed!! I wish you the best for the contest. (I gather that this is fictional from the comments below.) A "7" from me, and all the best!! Gary Jan Allison June 9, 2015 at 5:37 AM Yes total fiction as so many of my poems are Gary but sadly I guess some can relate to words I write here :-) hugs Jan xx

Nette Onclaud June 8, 2015 at 7:23 AM smashing WANTED advertisement or is it a online dating?.. lol.. huggs Jan Allison June 8, 2015 at 7:32 AM ha ha ha could be seen as either - but i better not let hubby see this one or 'marry me' or he may get worried lol:-) Hugs jan xx

Paul Callus June 7, 2015 at 1:20 PM Lovely and entertaining!! Do you need me to come along with a lie-detector machine? Better to be safe than sorry:) Hugs // paul Jan Allison June 7, 2015 at 1:26 PM LOL Paul thankfully as you know it is total fiction - gosh I don't think I could put up with a man like that but i know these abusive relationships do happen:-( Hugs jan xx

Constance La France June 7, 2015 at 10:10 AM Jan, this sad to see the abuse you endured with your ex but happy to see that you know exactly what you need, I love this poem,you write poems-gossamer and thanks for visiting my poem, no headstone Jan Allison June 7, 2015 at 10:59 AM sorry for the confusion - i was hoping for a few offers when i wrote my 'marry me' poem just in case lol maybe with this poem and that one my poor hubby should start to worry lol:-) Hugs jan xx Constance La France June 7, 2015 at 10:17 AM Oh, you little devil, so happy you have your position filled!!! Jan Allison June 7, 2015 at 10:14 AM Broken wings it is pure fiction for the contest - in fact we are celebrating 24 yrs on 22nd June - am glad it is a realistic write though:-) Hugs jan xx

John Lawless June 7, 2015 at 8:49 AM Jan, this is freakin' hilarious. Jan I once bought my wife a beautiful ring on a Tuesday. She asked "why did you buy me this ring? I replied "because today is Tuesday." The ring has forever been called the "Tuesday Ring". Hope you find a worthy candidate to fill the position. Jan Allison June 7, 2015 at 9:05 AM Aww John that is a wonderful story. My hubby is not a jewllery buying man - I just buy my own lol. We are celebrating our 24th wedding anniversary on 22nd June - when I saw the title of the contest 'the Apprentice' TV programme sprang to mind so I went with you're hired he's fired as my starting point - just hope Judy likes it:-) Hugs Jan xx

Arthur Vaso June 7, 2015 at 1:05 AM LOL Jan, so if I can fake all those qualities? I have a chance? LOL!!!! Loved this! Jan Allison June 7, 2015 at 1:16 AM ha ha ha :-) I am not sure if it is what Judy is after but the idea came to me late last night and I have to go with the flow of my muse. 'the Apprentice' TV programme - came to me when I saw the interview theme - guess marriage can be a job for life hugs Jan xx

Kp Nunez June 6, 2015 at 11:20 PM lordy...if I didn't know this is fiction, I'll be sad with the Loyal quip! This is very good, my friend. Funny and yet people can relate. A 7. Blessings for the contest! Hope you're having a nice weekend. Hugs! :-) Jan Allison June 7, 2015 at 12:19 AM I went for the contrasts in the ex and the vacancy to fill lol it is a fiction write purely for the contest:-) i just hope Judy likes it:-) I don't usually get to enter a contest first that place is usually grabbed by someone else but she has blocked Judy so I sneaked in lol Hugs jan xxx

Lindsay Laurie June 6, 2015 at 10:06 PM G'day Jan... you won't be able to see over the stack of applicant papers Jan - good luck - Lindsay Jan Allison June 7, 2015 at 12:17 AM LOL thanks Lindsay:-) Hugs Jan xx

Andrea Dietrich June 6, 2015 at 9:40 PM good heavens, you are fast on the draw today, Jan. I just now SAW the bloody contest. hahaha. Good one!!! (did I use bloody appropriately. I am trying to learn British speak!!) Jan Allison June 7, 2015 at 12:16 AM ha ha ha you are learning fast - I expected someone else to get in first lol was amazed mine was lol - I just came up with the theme and went for a bit of a humourous take - am not sure if you have 'the apprentice' in the US but thought it went well with the 'vacancy' theme - i just hope Judy likes it:-) Hugs jan xx

Cupids Arrow June 6, 2015 at 6:50 PM This is great Jan....If it were true the line would be down the street Jan Allison June 7, 2015 at 12:14 AM lol Tim:-) I am not sure if it is what Judy was after but i went for a bit of a fun aspect:-) Hugs jan xx