Used To
She’d say
you used to
pen little notes
to me
used to text
me
all the time
used to
make a nice
dinner on
some nights
and talk to
me for awhile.
you used to
tune into
me
when I talked
used to smile
at me always
used to
throw me
anywhere
and show
me why I
mattered
I should have
told her why
but by then
retreat was
complete I
used to drift
where I would
imagine the
thoughts I
wanted to say
wanted to share
wanted to feel
where I would
talk about
forgiveness
letting go
moving past
perceived wrongs
and dead pauses
and bad timing
and change
and vagrant looks
and wrong choices
but then
no matter
it was decided
always before I
ever decided
to stop the bleeding
I should have
said that she
never listened
never gave ground
to get beyond
her ugliness
her jealousies
her insecurities
her pettiness
her retribution
for a thousand
paper cuts
She said I inflicted
I should have
regrouped
come at it
a different way
no matter
she always decided
We should have
quit way back
when the
liquid band aids
started this
theatre run
doomed almost from
the start
all those lights
actors called in
scabs really
to play parts
which were
hastily sketched
around fragile love
not fleshed out
barely rehearsed
it’s no wonder
I used to and I should have
(click the pic for a preview of my upcoming book!)
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