Untitled

My life is untitled Maybe because I have no direction. I am always stressing to keep with the group in fear of abandoning the safe shield from opinion. Shielding me from the choice of a goal in a life that has no meaning. A directionless goal with no beginning or end so I’m stuck in my place like glue on the soles of my shoes or ice climbing up my legs like vines on the side of an old mansion. A dam blocking the river of my life, so my water stops flowing forever. But determination can break this dam down and let my water flow again. Persistence can cut those vines down and make the house look new. Resilience can lose the glue on my shoes and get me moving in the right direction again. My worth is unnamed Continuing to be belittled by a society of people with no idea of the weight that their words hold. I contemplate my worth with no idea how to continue in a world where no one cares about my next days so I’m stuck feeling betrayed. My worth has no name because it is untamed, but I’ll act like I’m okay because who cares? Who cares about my hour-by-hour? Who needs a play-by-play of my miserable life? No one. Because no one would bat an eye if I suddenly went quiet. Suddenly stopped smiling. Suddenly felt tired. My worth is unnamed because my worth is unimportant. I am unworthy Unworthy of the things that are given to me. The things I did not do anything to achieve. The things that feel unearned in the grand scheme because I am but a person with nothing to be achieved. I think that is something that we can all agree. Just like my unnamed worth and untitled life, my unworthiness is very apparent. My life with no meaning and worth with no reason is beginning to make it all feel unseasoned. I’d like to think I am an amazing person who deserves the world and so much more, but the days feel longer with the world’s weights on my shoulders. Never giving me a minute to catch my breath, I am tired. Tired of being unable to be like the rest. Always happy and without distress. When will my time come to smile and not be so depressed? Will I ever get to address the mess that is my life full of tests? Will I ever feel worthy enough to appreciate my worth? I feel like I am being sucked up by a black hole with no control of my soul I am helpless.