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How to be real with urself? What is keeping me here? Love or happiness? My love for her spans 12 years Memories are abundant Good times & bad We have lost a child to God Guilt for wanting to leave fills my soul I feel that her attraction for me has been lost My attraction towards other women grows The affect a divorce would have on my children The pain that decision would create Is it worth it, for me to be happy again? Part of me still wants to stay That part is fighting to see the light Every day it feels like I am drowning As humans we crave love and the contact of another human A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush U already have one that is for sure Should I risk trying to catch the others in the bush? Constant internal battle Loving who she was Not loving who she has become I have changed also Not for the better in all aspects Many mistakes have been made on both sides She struggles to keep our family running smoothly I struggle to make sure bills r paid She wants more I want more Niether of us will admit it to the other Sex has become none existant My sympathy for her feelings is fading My guilt for wanting to leave grows My children stay in my thoughts Will they hate me? Will they still think I'm a "good" dad? Would they see me differently? Am I a coward? Is there a right time to let go? How long should u fight for hope? All these questions and no answers given Tomorrow brings more of the same