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It happened again, all my hoping, all my praying all my crying, did nothing for me, It changed nothing, it helped to think that maybe something, would be different this time but it wasn't, It always ends this way, it will never change something's wrong, and nothing's right I constant hear, of others happiness and pure bliss, I can't stand it because for me, it's only pure misery How can I bring myself, to be happy over someone's gain, and my lost The answer is, I can't if I did, I would be lying, to myself and to them How can I be close, to the closest of me when what we share, is not the same and my hearts in so much pain, and I fear it will never change The very thought, that it's happening to so many other people, and not me, is what kills me So many women, carrying blessings everlasting gifts, ones they can treasure forever I would give my all, to have a chance to carry my miracle my blessing, my gift from god, a child of mine My body has failed me deeply, or did I fail my body have I done something wrong, I look back, to all the months that I lost and come to a conclusion, it was all my fault I'm all alone, to what I feel inside nobody ever sees, the tears I cry I know I'm not alone, to all the pain that goes around, but in my heart I feel the worlds ENTIRELY left out... (March 1999) lost my baby last year hoping for a miracle.