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''Until''

Broken Wings Avatar Broken Wings - LIFETIME Premium Member Broken Wings - Premium MemberPremium Member Send Soup Mail Go to Poets Blog Block poet from commenting on your poetry

Below is the poem entitled ''Until'' which was written by poet Broken Wings. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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The poem is below.


''Until''

A fierce wind howls as dark clouds race,
                                        A tall man whispers to the light

across a vast land with wild clear waters,
                                         of streaking sunsets and sunrises bright

and woodlands in a thousand shades of green,
                                         he hears her calling for him

He feels her tears beckoning for him to come,
                                         and he must find her in the dim

for she has waited for him all her life it seems,
                                         to bring her back to his world.

over mountain peaks and rivers wild he journeys,
                                         Now, he stands in shadows whirled

and in the mist of dawn he watches her sleeping,
                                         as she sleeps like an angel with wings

He reaches out a hand to touch her raven head
                                          then, outside a bird sings,
 
as he fades away to dust in the morning light,
                                           and she sits in slow motion segments.

That night candlelight flickers in her bedroom,
                                           Her room is full of a forest scents

and he stands behind her and slowly removes his hood,
                                            and she is not afraid when he says, Claire

as she turns to face the man of her dreams, 
                                           when he twines his fingers in her hair

he takes her hand in his and walks her to the bed,
                                           and whispers, it is time.

They lay on the bed two lovers until at dawn he disappears,
                                            She closes her eyes for love sublime,

She is found in the morning, pale and deathly cold, 
                                           as he deeply kisses her ruby lips
 
raindrops fall as her casket is lowered into the ground,
                                           until into another world, she slips.

______________________
March 28, 2017

Narrative/"Until"
Copyright Protected, ID 888105


On Any Subject
Brenda Chiri

Second Place

Copyright © | Year Posted 2017

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Date: 4/30/2017 7:37:00 AM
Excellent write BW. All three poems coherent and well executed. Mystical and emotional with nice rhymes.
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Date: 4/8/2017 9:02:00 PM
Awesome what you did with this difficult form! Congrats on your win.
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Date: 4/8/2017 9:27:00 AM
Stunning write. Three poems in one; each a masterclass in and of itself :). A thoroughly well-deserved win!
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Date: 4/8/2017 4:50:00 AM
Everything was perfect couldn't have asked for better! Left to right poem deep and touching... Right down almost as a love poem! Congrats on your win! You've done what I didn't think people would get! Brenda
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Date: 3/29/2017 12:43:00 PM
Wow! The flow feels seamless, softly moving like clouds into one. Your words paint stunning emotions over sweeping vistas that are hauntingly beautiful. Exquisite writing, lovely to read. lynnxxx p.s. it says a lot of your skills that I understood how you meant it to be read. You made it seem effortless because you are so talented. thank you :-)
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Wings Avatar
Broken Wings
Date: 3/30/2017 4:54:00 PM
Lynn Marie thank you for the wonderful comment
Date: 3/28/2017 7:43:00 PM
I know it looks like a strange poem but it is actually two poems, the poem left to right and the poem at the end, you have to read them separatly, hope I did the contest theme correctly!!
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Chiri Avatar
Brenda Chiri
Date: 4/7/2017 2:26:00 AM
Perfect
Chiri Avatar
Brenda Chiri
Date: 4/7/2017 2:22:00 AM
Wings Avatar
Broken Wings
Date: 3/30/2017 4:55:00 PM
Think I did!