Unmade - FIRE AND ICE, part 1

Let the demons play — and let them fall As they seek their next prey. Merry-go-round, lost and found, Salt trodden deep in earth and pain. Zombies crawl. An ass's stall. I don’t need this bottle. I don’t need you. Forgive me — For all the prayers I whispered in your name in vain. Enemies within, Those who proclaimed to be my friends. Lucky, I suppose, That the last seven years were already hell — So when your shadow came, My mind was ready to let go of this shame. To my unfaithful beloved — A mask of joy, A face long tarnished. The whore of Babylon. The queen of ice. Go knot your best friend. I am not him. My errors — But thy affairs. My vain prayers — Your dragon’s lair. Wheat, tares, Smoke, and ashes. Set my demons free or bury them. It matters not. But let the world know — There is Baal… And then, There is you. 1. John the failure. 2. You, Crystal the Ice Queen — You both were demons are demons demons The tragedy: A ripple in time, That cost me Ginger — One of my mentors. Spiritually, emotionally. I bit the hand that fed me. You — You gave me amnesia. Trauma-Induced Dissociation. And I laid my pain on Carrie. You humiliated me. You dehumanized me. You demasculinized me. You unmade me. You shattered me. You haunted me. Because of you… I can now be friends with Carrie. I hadn’t spoken to her in 8 years — Because of her divorce. I projected myself on her husband, Wrote her off. And yet, I reached out again… Because of you. Two weeks ago, I saw a beast. And I thought of you. Along with this and that — Something broke. I am A corroded lead nail — Twisted, cracked — Forgotten beneath flaking paint and dust. You squeezed my soul. And all that remains is bitterness. I loved you. You F***ing whore. I was beaten, Battered, Threatened at gunpoint. You raped me — By letting him. I was forced to watch. You violated my body and my soul By what you allowed. And I fractured — Trauma-Induced Dissociation. But for the longest time, I unfairly choose to blame someone I'm sorry for being angry towards you, Carrie