Unfathomably So

I know I can’t write down All I feel these days tonight But, I believe you all get what I mean When I say that I feel alone all over again Maybe, it’s because not many individuals really want to Hang out with me like I want to with myself, seems true as an empath I want to be a part of God's gracious Kingdom, what about you? Am I on the right track or am I wandering on the wrong path? Do I have to face His wrath? Well, I haven’t a clue… Completely, who knew… I would be this shade of blue… Body-quaking in this abstract abyss, felt childlike happiness A shade so deep, away from You… Hope what I say isn’t true… If it was, it’s the things I’ve gone through… I want to function and shine anew beyond this distress… Will He mend your distress And replace it with eustress? Gracious, glorious Lord, I need You and so much more I’ve been lonely and bored But, with You, I belong ashore My voice, You do not ignore, can’t deny Then, why do I feel ignored? Oh, why? Relief from this grief in me Would be amazing remarkably I am a desert and You are the river that flourishes and flows in it… I am the gigantic, blue whale and You are the ocean, epically aquatic I need confidence and Yours would be awesome to have some I need deliverance from my past sins – I was evil in Your sight I am sincerely sorry no doubt, yet I regret all of what I’ve done I say 'I' far too much, but You can fill me with such bright might I suffer and I don’t know exactly why, don’t know why I’m nervous for a change that needs to be done What have I become? I’m the low amongst your high I want to reach out to You, but I feel long gone Alone, but I will believe On my own, no, I won’t grieve; joyfulness received... I know I can’t write down, somehow, The way I feel, unfathomably so… If I do grieve, don’t leave, Lord, I need You…these scars need to be relieved… I know I can write poetry right now… That’s what I do best, you know