Unfathomably So

I know I can’t write down 
All I feel these days tonight
But, I believe you all get what I mean
When I say that I feel alone all over again

Maybe, it’s because not many individuals really want to
Hang out with me like I want to with myself, seems true as an empath 
I want to be a part of God's gracious Kingdom, what about you?
Am I on the right track or am I wandering on the wrong path? Do I have to face His wrath?

Well, I haven’t a clue…
Completely, who knew…
I would be this shade of blue…
Body-quaking in this abstract abyss, felt childlike happiness 
A shade so deep, away from You…
Hope what I say isn’t true…
If it was, it’s the things I’ve gone through…
I want to function and shine anew beyond this distress…

Will He mend your distress
And replace it with eustress?

Gracious, glorious Lord,
I need You and so much more
I’ve been lonely and bored
But, with You, I belong ashore 

My voice, You do not ignore, can’t deny
Then, why do I feel ignored? Oh, why?
Relief from this grief in me
Would be amazing remarkably

I am a desert and You are the river that flourishes and flows in it…
I am the gigantic, blue whale and You are the ocean, epically aquatic 

I need confidence and Yours would be awesome to have some
I need deliverance from my past sins – I was evil in Your sight
I am sincerely sorry no doubt, yet I regret all of what I’ve done
I say 'I' far too much, but You can fill me with such bright might

I suffer and I don’t know exactly why, don’t know why
I’m nervous for a change that needs to be done
What have I become? I’m the low amongst your high 
I want to reach out to You, but I feel long gone

Alone, but I will believe
On my own, no, I won’t grieve; joyfulness received...
I know I can’t write down, somehow,
The way I feel, unfathomably so…

If I do grieve, don’t leave,
Lord, I need You…these scars need to be relieved…
I know I can write poetry right now…
That’s what I do best, you know
Copyright © | Year Posted 2018

Poem

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Rose  Avatar
August 17, 2018 at 10:09 AM
I think you are closer the He then you realize, Otherwise you could not write like this. you are amazing. A light on the other side of the barrel. Love it
Breidenthal Avatar
August 18, 2018 at 1:47 AM
That is nice of you to say! Thanks sincerely. Ah, you are amazing too!
 Avatar
August 17, 2018 at 12:20 AM
That was really beautiful poem ! Great job talented author
Breidenthal Avatar
August 17, 2018 at 1:18 AM
Thank you so much!! =) If you want, you can read more. Have an awesome day~
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