Understepping Poem One

I look in your eyes and my heart breaks.
How will I remove you from my mind?
I would Never have imagined such pain.
How will I Love with this broken heart.
You have made me this shell of a man.
I can not explain the way I feel
I know I will never love again.

Read first word first line
Second word second line
Third word third line
Forth word fourth line
Fifth word fifth line
Sixth word sixth line
Seventh word Seventh line
Nine Sylables per line including understepping line

I would like to call this form Understepping because
of the underlying message stepping down with each line..
Here we have a poem within a poem.
Copyright © | Year Posted 2012

Poem

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Dietrich Avatar
December 28, 2012 at 5:04 PM
ok, I GOT IT. Easier than I expected, and I really love the secret message of this.
Lamoureux Avatar
December 28, 2012 at 7:04 PM
Thanks again Andrea, I look forward to your visits, you are so encouraging.
Tsiluma Avatar
December 27, 2012 at 11:56 PM
I love it Richard! The steps and the particular syllables- great. The idea of searching for a hidden meaning is clever because you wouldn't want to make it too obvious. And the name works too! And that it merges well with the whole poem is a huge plus. So it gets an overall great! It's wonderful to see a brilliant mind at work!
Lamoureux Avatar
December 28, 2012 at 9:37 AM
You flatter me my dear. Thanks for making my day. I hope you give it a try.
Ig Avatar
December 27, 2012 at 10:13 AM
tres bien!!!!
Lamoureux Avatar
December 27, 2012 at 10:53 AM
thanks
Horsman Avatar
December 27, 2012 at 10:04 AM
the poem stand very well on it's own, seen some what a similar form before, where reading words across down, start and end, but not sure i've seen one stepped before, as i say good poem in it's own rights. the words that form the steps, could be the title of the poem?
Lamoureux Avatar
December 27, 2012 at 10:53 AM
It started that way as the title but then you would lose the fun of finding the message that is imbedded.
A   Avatar
December 26, 2012 at 9:07 PM
Richard, A SAD AND DEEP FEEL... oh what love! we give and break... I like what you did here... i do not know if this is a form already.. I'd seen a poet do this one time, where they took a verse.. and then wrote a line for each word... you did yours perfect.... you should offer this to the soup...I like it... if I was a dare devil... I'd try one out myself.. maybe you should run a contest... and call it... "NINERS" lol...kidding...pd
Lamoureux Avatar
December 27, 2012 at 8:27 AM
Thanks Linda I may do that.
Andresen Avatar
December 26, 2012 at 7:01 AM
Well written, Richard. - - Thank you for year 2012, many good poems and nice comments from you! - oxox / / Anne-Lise :)
Lamoureux Avatar
December 26, 2012 at 7:51 AM
Thanks Anne Lise.
Cheesman Avatar
December 26, 2012 at 5:23 AM
Richard this is very good and very creative the way that you play with diferent forms and possibilities with poetry. Well done - shaz
Lamoureux Avatar
December 26, 2012 at 7:49 AM
Thanks Shaz, how was Christmas?
Widjanarko Avatar
December 26, 2012 at 4:10 AM
Wow, could it be free verse? It looks like it :D how are you Richard? Hopefully you are having a great Christmas yesterday :D -hug, Yanny
West Avatar
December 25, 2012 at 11:32 PM
Hello Richard, another great write my friemd. Rollo
Lamoureux Avatar
December 26, 2012 at 7:49 AM
Thanks Rollo.
Macfarlane Avatar
December 25, 2012 at 8:14 PM
Excellent write....hopefully you can put claim to yet another new form? Merry Christmas, hope it was filled with love and blessings! Hugs
Lamoureux Avatar
December 26, 2012 at 7:48 AM
Thanks, I just gave it a name.
Tams The Golden Girl Avatar
December 25, 2012 at 6:56 PM
Sorry can't help you with the form, I am no good at that. Love the way you have done it though
Lamoureux Avatar
December 25, 2012 at 7:58 PM
This form came to me and I don't want to take credit if it already exists. Thanks for the positive feed back.
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