Home » Poems » Silent One » Under the Surface

Silent One | + Follow Poet |

Under the Surface

Poet's Notes

(Show)

Become a Premium Member and post notes and photos about your poem like Silent One.

This was never meant to be a sonnet. I was playing around with monorhyme and rap, for a spoken word piece. Althought 10 syllables, I am not one for meter....

Mind cannot comprehend, it finds it strange, when ignorance reigns in human exchange. Wonder if some people will ever change, or wish to remain in the firing range. I prefer to live life without disdain. When demons persist, penetrating pain, I let the ink loose from my bursting vein, to express with peace, from hate I abstain. We're not all the same birds of a feather, we all sin, but have to live together. Opinions are like the British weather, driving you to the end of your tether. Agree to disagree with an open mind, tensions ease when we prefer to be kind. The Silent One 12 January 2020

Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem. Negative comments will result your account being banned.

Please Login to post a comment

Rhonda Johnson-Saunders

Date: 5/14/2020 7:43:00 PM

A wonderful sonnet full of wisdom, Silent! If only we could all keep an open mind and try to embrace our differences with kindness...hugs, Rhonda

John Hamilton

Date: 4/26/2020 9:27:00 AM

So good SO makes sense to me glad to see a sonnet from you. You do these well.

Alison Hodges

Date: 2/16/2020 12:56:00 PM

I really like this one. I love the way it rhymes within lines. I've never even tried to do that.

Richard Lamoureux

Date: 1/23/2020 9:54:00 AM

So true. Well expressed Silent. Thanks as well for your visit.

M. L. Kiser

Date: 1/22/2020 4:01:00 PM

Beautifully written. Enjoyed.

Indiana Shaw

Date: 1/21/2020 11:40:00 AM

I love Sonnet raps, do the audio, add a few poets off here to do the lines, and spread the word, I hear it, man . . . : )

Kai Michael Neumann

Date: 1/20/2020 3:50:00 AM

Pluralism and poetry rock.

Ann Foster

Date: 1/19/2020 8:28:00 PM

Such wonderful wisdom... Excellent write as always... a veteran at your trade my friend... welcome in the courts of kings and queens alike... ... Ann

Robert Lindley

Date: 1/19/2020 5:57:00 PM

Wonderful sonnet my friend. Great message and rhyming. This is truly a wonderful and inspiring admonishment of those in this dark world that happily embrace its greed, lusts , wicked deeds and darkness.. A fav-- a true gem too.

Maria Williams

Date: 1/17/2020 12:05:00 AM

I really enjoyed the message under the surface of this rap style poem of yours. I watched a movie the day, ‘Dolemite is my name’ . Who ever said there was no money to be made from poetry was wrong. Eddie Murphy portrays real-life legend Rudy Ray Moore, a comedy and rap pioneer who proved naysayers wrong when his hilarious rap style poetry really took off. At a time when parents were shaking their heads and hoping rap was a fad, i really loved the rhythm and beat to it. I think its here to stay....Maria Hugs

John Watt

Date: 1/15/2020 2:41:00 PM

SO, I wish this were read in every school in every country. With Brexit, impeachment hearings, attacks, and retaliatory strikes, I wish our politicians would heed this message as well. Beautiful, as always, with your words and rhymes, always love your sonnets. ~ John

Silent One
Date: 1/15/2020 3:18:00 PM

That would be great, but there are a lot of adults who could take advice from this.. Thank you John..

Juliet Ligon

Date: 1/15/2020 10:49:00 AM

Great message and it flows so well!

Silent One
Date: 1/15/2020 3:16:00 PM

Thank you..

Midnight Aurora

Date: 1/14/2020 5:07:00 PM

Lol...I just read this like a rap...and now I'm laughing...only coz I don't do rap... It is better when you read it like that though because it really gets the point across.

Midnight Aurora
Date: 1/15/2020 3:24:00 PM

Sounds cool.

Silent One
Date: 1/15/2020 3:16:00 PM

It sounds so much better in rap.. i do slow rap and fast rap... the contrast in styles is great.. thanks.

Carolyn Devonshire

Date: 1/14/2020 1:49:00 PM

If we could only learn to keep an open mind, understanding could replace anger. Imagine this effect on our turbulent world today, SO. Enjoyed the different rhyme scheme for your sonnet -- they can be written many ways, Brian once told me. And nothing seems more important than eradicating ignorance and hate. Beautifully written, my friend. Hugs, carolyn

Silent One
Date: 1/15/2020 3:20:00 PM

It was never meant to be a sonnet, but seeing that it has a syllable count of 10, i thought i would leave it as a sonnet.. thank you for your feedback..

Kim Rodrigues

Date: 1/14/2020 12:56:00 PM

Yes, love it! Great lines: I let the ink loose from my bursting vein, to express with peace, from hate I abstain.

Silent One
Date: 1/15/2020 3:19:00 PM

Thank you.... let us all abstain from hate..

Caren Krutsinger

Date: 1/13/2020 5:50:00 PM

“From hate I abstain”- if we all did this what a beautiful world it could be.

Silent One
Date: 1/15/2020 3:15:00 PM

i agree....

Carolyn Devonshire
Date: 1/14/2020 1:50:00 PM

Amen

Tom Cunningham

Date: 1/13/2020 6:31:00 AM

We certainly know about the British weather S. O. Like your comparison to it. Well written sonnet. Tom

Silent One
Date: 1/15/2020 3:21:00 PM

Thank you Tom.. yes its been crazy again over here... as you know..

Besma Riabi Dziri

Date: 1/13/2020 1:48:00 AM

As you break the silence and the rules an outflow of beauty springs from "poetic veins! "under the surface"! rises to higher levels of captivating poetry! So pleased to read your work, Silent One.. Best regards and blessings.

Silent One
Date: 1/15/2020 3:23:00 PM

Thank you..

Harry Horsman

Date: 1/12/2020 11:03:00 PM

I find the subject matter so different from the norm, (mainly lovey dovey) and find it very refreshing,,,

Silent One
Date: 1/15/2020 3:23:00 PM

Thank you..

Brandy Nicole

Date: 1/12/2020 6:55:00 PM

"Agree to disagree with an open mind" Is that Possible? Yes, I certainly think so. Is it that way in our World? Not as much as it should be. Such a thought provoking write. Well said Silent One. ~ Brandy

Silent One
Date: 1/15/2020 3:24:00 PM

It is possible... if we let our ego go and accept other peoples views... thank you..

Janice Canerdy

Date: 1/12/2020 6:33:00 PM

Oh, I really like this one, S.O.! Janice

Silent One
Date: 1/15/2020 3:24:00 PM

Thank you..

Sandra Adams

Date: 1/12/2020 6:30:00 PM

i love the way you penned this and your message within even more so, we must all get along, and no two people will ever totally agree on everything but there are ways to handle it...without violence...wonderful sonnet...it would work well it Emile's contest... hugs :)

Silent One
Date: 1/15/2020 3:24:00 PM

Totally agree... Thank you..