Under the mystical veil of night, where stars whisper ancient secrets

Under the mystical veil of night, where stars whisper ancient secrets, I feel my failure intensely, as if it were a vital organ, Birthed by merciless gods, growing from the side of my head. You can't hide it with a hat, and I can no longer sleep on that side, it's so tender and raw. I was not faithful enough to carry this celestial burden up the mountain. When I took my vows at nineteen, I had no inkling that the gods wielded such cruelty. Fear molds obedient servants, while courage is a grand illusion. When I awoke, I wasn't awake enough to truly see. Beneath the shade of whispering pines, I am enshrouded in a mantle of melancholy, Each thought cascading like a dark river through the labyrinth of my mind, An endless tale of failures and unfulfilled desires, A cosmic dance of pain and shattered hopes. I feel my failure throbbing in sync with the beat of my heart, An invisible organ, yet ever-present, sculpted by gods too harsh. I cannot hide it, nor soften its sting, It is part of me, an indelible chapter of my unpolished story. Often, I ponder whether I was ever strong enough, If my vows bore any true weight, Or if I was merely a servant to fear, A deceitful soul, searching for courage in the shadows of misplaced dreams. Under the starry canopy, I lose myself in a sea of thoughts, Each star a distant memory of what I could have been, A reflection of all my failures and dreams, A universe of possible realities, all woven into the fabric of my story. When I awoke, the harshness of reality cut deep, I was not awake enough to face its unyielding truths, But in this twilight of semi-consciousness, I discovered a strange beauty, a bittersweet melancholy, That defines my existence, granting me the strength to continue. For under the mystical veil of night, within the whispering pines, I find solace in the depths of my own thoughts, A painter of dreams, a weaver of worlds, In an eternal ballet of failures and hopes, I am, simply, and profoundly, myself.