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ulan at sinag ng araw: pagmumuni ng isang tulirong isip

my head touches the pillow
as gentle rain lulls me 
and i just want to   s
                             i
                             n
                              k

into the sheets,
fold into myself,
….be forgotten,

immerse myself with the raindrops
and blend in—
    washed out,
washed away,
 
be a mere globule
in those floodwaters

and once it recedes,

let me be

--bleached
by 
sunlight

scrub     a w a y 
my darkness,

let that vast spectrum of light
assault it

let those rays
shine
No.
make that, glare--
into my outer and inner beings,
highlighting each of my flaws—


(--can’t you see?—
--tell me,
is it not amidst sunlight
that you see
all those dust particles
floating about?

air may seem invisible, 
  but it's not invincible

think. Again.

--those countless, innumerable
nano flaws)

let those rays
burn through me,
forcing melanocytes
to aggregate
into multiple nevi

--flaws manifested—

then after the Sun
has done its part,

allow pieces of me

to evaporate,
to condense,
to sublimate,,,,

I ramble,  on
    and on                 ...,and on
droning, groaning
like the hardened ground,
as, it’s, pierced, by, rain daggers, 

(but unlike it,
the petrichor 
that I release

fails
to 
invigorate me

--the reason
behind this

escapes me)

Drench,,,,, everything!!!!!!! 
!!!!! unleash,,,,, ravage !!!!!
     then 
  devastate!!!!!


simply: 

R e l. e a s e

               
all that chaos
within


then after all that,
revel in the silence

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
,,,,,,,,
,,,,
,,
,

and so 
I simply lie
down
on my pondering senti.mental stool-
the overthinker, the wandering fool



Cut through me, Rain, 
--be my salve

Burn deep inside me, Sunlight,
--then heal my tatteredness






--------rain and sunlight: lingering thoughts of a loopy, sighing, mind-----

Copyright © | Year Posted 2016




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Date: 10/19/2017 10:38:00 PM
Oh my, this is wonderful, and I have felt, (and written about), very similar feelings, ("Descent", "Autumn Atonement, others) ... I adore this, and have to fav it! Superb write! Blessings! :-)
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Date: 7/19/2016 10:29:00 AM
Very unique write. I LOVED this!
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Date: 6/20/2016 6:25:00 PM
Came to check your Tanka after seeing comments on Charlotte's blog...I was thinking you could do something about the negative charge in the electron in the last line. I know a dumb thought...lol
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kabuteng P.iNk k.
Date: 6/21/2016 11:32:00 AM
Hi Tim! Thank you for your suggestion, I'll keep this in mind-- who knows? Maybe I can write a different version & work your suggestion in and nope, not dumb at all...
Date: 6/18/2016 6:10:00 PM
i had to track down the author of this one! lol just to let you know that i really liked it, but all sorts of weird things happened in this contest, and by the time this was entered i already had the maximum number of winners that i was allowed, but i was impressed with this - i loved the leaves as "excited electrons"; just maybe would've tweaked that last line a bit
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kabuteng P.iNk k.
Date: 6/18/2016 8:53:00 PM
Hello, Charlotte :) -- it truly means a lot to me that you went out of your way to comment on my write, it's so thoughtful of you... I really wanted to write for your tanka when I saw you posted it, but next thing I know, it had closed. So imagine my delight to see it re-open! I enjoyed writing this one, admittedly, that "excited electrons" line just jumped out (haha) at me. Oops, my geeky side came out a bit. As for the last line, I also struggled(ing) with that. Again, thank you for the inspiration from your contest :).
Date: 6/2/2016 7:51:00 AM
Only you can bring across the conflicting emotions in this unique way Missy.. I sincerely hope you have found time to relax by now because I know how hectic things have been. Ps: I love this write of yours. You know I get where this is coming from! *hugs*
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kabuteng P.iNk k.
Date: 6/2/2016 12:19:00 PM
Thank you very much, Missy-- ugggh, actually I am kinda relaxing now, why I am still able to?? Because those days are truly almost gone??? Hectic and stressful days are here to stay, eep... mwahugs
Date: 5/24/2016 11:29:00 AM
Wow, Nikko, this is deeper than some, and it's one of the poems I like to read more than once, to make sure I'm 'catching' what the writer (you) are expressing. It seems that you, (like I do myself), dissects every emotion and holds it not only metaphorically, but physically, inside myself, until I don't know if I'm happy, sad, crazy, depressed, or as normal as everyone else. You are hard on yourself, so I think this expresses that too. A terrific poem, by the way! :)
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kabuteng P.iNk k.
Date: 5/25/2016 10:13:00 AM
Hi Carrie :) Thank you so much for reading and commenting here, it's so nice of you to drop by. I always find it so interesting how others perceive my writes, and I like what you say here-- somehow, you are able to capture, voice out some things that I wasn't able to fully express in this write.
Date: 5/19/2016 8:54:00 PM
Gosh, it's surreal but in a very interesting way, Nikko. Like dissecting your poor body!! Also I know you have been so stressed out, so these images that come to you are due to that. It's also GREAT free verse writing. What i loved was that wry way of saying at the end then get back to me. OH MY. It speaks volumes.
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kabuteng P.iNk k.
Date: 5/25/2016 10:15:00 AM
Hi Andrea! You also give me another interesting perspective, thank you very much for dropping by and saying what you say here! I was thinking this might be a tad graphic, if one were to really try and imagine this? I'm glad you likes that last line, and I'm glad I added that and it's a pleasure for me to read you, I'm sorry I haven't been able to read much of your poems anymore...
Date: 5/19/2016 8:50:00 PM
so glad you came to see my mountains of madness poem, sweet Nikko. and Now I have a poem of yours I can read!!!
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