Twilight Hours
In the twilight hours I lie
On my back face-up closed-eyes facing the sky
I am clarity
Not fully awake or asleep
Free of prejudiced mind and sanity
And my mind wanders
Snippets of thoughts and assessments
Judgements and decisions made
Random thoughts tucked away
Hurts never let out to play
In the twilight I feel that pain
When awake brain hid it ‘cause there was nothing to gain
Here I'm feeling it raw, festering
And I'm angry
I can't let it go, it’s me it's poisoning
There's no awake brain here
No balm of calm to salve my wounds
I feel the hateful venom rising
Rising like the sun is rising
It’s getting closer now my angry heart drumming
It burns my skin and flatlines
Disapparating into sleepy fog
Dawn obliterates those thoughts
On the first rays of sunshine cascading through my room
In the twilight hours I lie
Drifting through random thoughts, dreams
Aspirations so true soo deeply hidden
Here glowing they are blinding
A supernova of hearts desires
No awake brain here to say no
Hopes’ soft whisper comforts, caresses
Encouraging first gently, more urgent with every breath
Write down, write them down
I pen bleary-eyed
Skew scripts of random words
No sooner put to paper
Are gone in an eruption of peace
Deep sleep overcomes
In the twilight hours I lie
Less awake more asleep
No words, no thoughts, no views
No anger, no judgement, no dreams
Hopes’ whispers silenced
There's no peace here
Ever-growing is a throbbing flame of passion
As painful as it is beautiful
All-consuming its’ searing heat all-encompassing
Fuelled by the anger burning up
Judgement already ashes on whirls of Thoughts and burnt leashes
Dreams freed and Aspirations crowning
Hope releasing sparks ever further
It's a furnace and it has risen
Demanding, suffocating, it howls its’ release
I scribble words desperately
Grasping tails of fire as they burn my fingers
Still I hold on
My charred hands nothing to the rising view, the phoenix flies
For a moment I see everything
It's clear and devastating and breathtakingly beautiful
This time awake brain has seen it too
Capturing all it could to relive this moment in wakeful hours
As I tumble down into blissful slumber
Time has passed
Awake brain long since exhausted its captured fire
Now in the twilight hours I lie
More awake, less asleep
Awake brain longs to explore those musings
But all is quiet, serene
All that's left is Hopes’ softest whisper
That drifts away on the morning light
‘Keep going, Passions’ wings are only a locked dream away’
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