Tunnel Vision Premiere Contest Winner

Poet's Notes
(Show)

Become a Premium Member and post notes and photos about your poem like Carrie Richards.


Graffiti frames a tunneled tomb, beneath the city's core
where writings stretch upon the wall in dialects profaned
A hallmark and a tell-tale sign, but somehow, no one sees
Unspoken fears have set apart the lives that mingle here 

In every shade the masses grow, and mingle side by side 
Day, by day, the same routine, sardines until they die 
The writing on the tunneled walls is just a sign to come
that walls have grown to come between the hands of humankind

They board as one, but coldness churns through veins beneath the ground
Habits honed have deafened ears to echoes all around
Distance tumbles through the aisles, small words too frail to say
"How are you, what can I do to help you smile today?"

Too occupied for reaching out to be the other's friend 
No glance, no chance to say hello to the stranger by your side
No hands to grasp, no questions asked, just eyes in downward glance,
A phone in hand, whatever land, beyond all human touch

As seasons pass, left in the dust the silence breeds and feeds
more apathy, that beats the heart, as cold and hard as stone.. 
The sound of silence just rumbles on,  until the walls come down

_________________________________________________________
4/27/18

Copyright © | Year Posted 2018



Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem. Negative comments will result your account being banned.

Please Login to post a comment

Date: 9/19/2018 11:15:00 PM
Carrie, This piece is so well written, so that thought or message is linked with rhythm and rhyme in a lagato fashion. It rolls of the tongue when read aloud and suddenly the picture comes to life. The third verse is fluid and expressive with meaning beyond the written word. This is what we all want to do. Beautiful! RAY
Login to Reply
Date: 6/1/2018 5:27:00 PM
Hello Carrie, i do not think that any wall should have any graffiti on it. it makes a building look ugly. Have a nice evening my friend.
Login to Reply
Date: 5/27/2018 12:27:00 AM
You are simply on a level all your own, Carrie, and one of the best I've yet to see on this site ... that is an extraordinary thing, as there are so many talented writers here, but you hold a command of language and expression that has an insightful edge, but still retains an innocence of youth. Many writers get caught in their own trap of "haughty sophistication", and they lose the colors of imagination when they do, something that is missing these days, in my opinion. Wonderful work! :-) <3
Login to Reply
Date: 5/26/2018 8:06:00 PM
Bravo!!!I thoroughly enjoyed that feat of great thought and print. Many of you on our Soup rival renown writers of past eras and you are one. Keep up the work of champions. DKay
Login to Reply
Date: 5/25/2018 10:09:00 AM
Whoa! Powerful stuff and clear in mind. Like I'm right there. Great job!
Login to Reply
Date: 5/21/2018 12:51:00 PM
You are incredible with imagery and tone, dear carrie... again a highest spot in your favor... many congrats!
Login to Reply
Date: 5/21/2018 2:25:00 AM
Congratulations on your win in my contest. And when/if the walls come tumbling down, some tunnels can see the light. I enjoyed your poem enormously and it is a worthy winner. Kind wishes, Kai
Login to Reply
Date: 5/20/2018 11:23:00 PM
There is a powerful warning that rings true in your excellent and expertly written poem fo this day and age,Carrie. Congrats on your well deserved top win!
Login to Reply
Date: 5/20/2018 12:53:00 PM
How WELL you have described SO many people! Studies show that being lonely in a crowd is more common than ever before. CONGRATS, Carrie! Janice
Login to Reply
Date: 5/20/2018 12:47:00 PM
Back to say congratulations on your #1 win. A well-deserved one for this well-written poem with a timely message.
Login to Reply
Date: 5/20/2018 6:48:00 AM
Beautiful, Carrie. A well deserved gold medal win.
Login to Reply
Date: 5/20/2018 4:31:00 AM
Congratulations on your win, Carrie.
Login to Reply
Date: 5/6/2018 12:08:00 PM
Great Descriptive poem that surpassed my version. I forgot to enter mine.
Login to Reply
Date: 4/30/2018 12:40:00 PM
This one goes to my favs. UNBELIEVABLE WHAT YOU HAVE DONE HERE DEAR , CARRIE. I HOPE THE WORLD WILL READ AND HEED THIS. Sincerely, Elaine This brilliant free verse will stand the test of time. Sincerely, Elaine
Login to Reply
Date: 4/29/2018 2:53:00 PM
Nicely penned. Your descriptions make me feel like I'm in the midst of a crowded subway first-hand.
Login to Reply
Date: 4/28/2018 9:31:00 AM
A sad and scary tunnel vision poem. I liked the imagery, esp ...silence breeds and feeds apathy... there are several more. A winner for sure. Good luck in contest.
Login to Reply
Get a Premium Membership
Get more exposure for your poetry and more features with a Premium Membership.
Book: Reflection on the Important Things

Member Area

My Admin
Profile and Settings
Edit My Poems
Edit My Quotes
Edit My Short Stories
Edit My Articles
My Comments Inboxes
My Comments Outboxes
Soup Mail
Poetry Contests
Contest Results/Status
Followers
Poems of Poets I Follow
Friend Builder

Soup Social

Poetry Forum
New/Upcoming Features
The Wall
Soup Facebook Page
Who is Online
Link to Us

Member Poems

Poems - Top 100 New
Poems - Top 100 All-Time
Poems - Best
Poems - by Topic
Poems - New (All)
Poems - New (PM)
Poems - New by Poet
Poems - Read
Poems - Unread

Member Poets

Poets - Best New
Poets - New
Poets - Top 100 Most Poems
Poets - Top 100 Most Poems Recent
Poets - Top 100 Community
Poets - Top 100 Contest

Famous Poems

Famous Poems - African American
Famous Poems - Best
Famous Poems - Classical
Famous Poems - English
Famous Poems - Haiku
Famous Poems - Love
Famous Poems - Short
Famous Poems - Top 100

Famous Poets

Famous Poets - Living
Famous Poets - Most Popular
Famous Poets - Top 100
Famous Poets - Best
Famous Poets - Women
Famous Poets - African American
Famous Poets - Beat
Famous Poets - Cinquain
Famous Poets - Classical
Famous Poets - English
Famous Poets - Haiku
Famous Poets - Hindi
Famous Poets - Jewish
Famous Poets - Love
Famous Poets - Metaphysical
Famous Poets - Modern
Famous Poets - Punjabi
Famous Poets - Romantic
Famous Poets - Spanish
Famous Poets - Suicidal
Famous Poets - Urdu
Famous Poets - War

Poetry Resources

Anagrams
Bible
Book Store
Character Counter
Cliché Finder
Poetry Clichés
Common Words
Copyright Information
Grammar
Grammar Checker
Homonym
Homophones
How to Write a Poem
Lyrics
Love Poem Generator
New Poetic Forms
Plagiarism Checker
Poetics
Poetry Art
Publishing
Random Word Generator
Spell Checker
Store
What is Good Poetry?
Word Counter