Tree of Suffering

When I'm unconscious I enter a surreal dream state in which I don't feel real or alive and when I wake up I feel the same way. It is hard to distinguish my thoughts and distorted feelings with the ever growing suffering in me. Something so simple like relaxing is a chore for me a mirror opposite of what I want An opposition in me stopping me growing and helping me die. The tree of me is withering and lifeless All the leaves have fallen into the mud I stand waiting to die. Underneath the soil was once me and my past But now just an evanescing echo in time Buried forever My body disintegrates like the tree of suffocating souls.