Transmutation of Fear

Closed up, wrapped up. Please don't touch me. Back away, I don't need it. I can't breathe. I have tears, and I'm in a state of panic. I was waiting to make the right move. Questioning how to show I choose. Going places, not using my discernment. Why don't I have trust in myself? Why do I still have these feelings of fear? I need help and guidance to make me feel clear. Tugging on my heart too much. Why can't I trust us? Why did I question my self-love? The things that are said, I still am skeptical These walls are so high that it is hard to look confident from above. These walls are so high up. I'm trapped, I'm shaking, and I'm not looking. Could you not come near me? These fears I see, these fears I breathe. It's encompassing and suffocating It's wrapping around my vitality. It's wrapping around my destiny. Don't look at me. I can't do it. I'm just a mess. Nothing in me is remotely perfect. Nothing in me is remotely relatable. My connections in the past have been terrible. I'm too open, too vulnerable. I have always only known to empty my cup. I have always only known not to ask for anyone to follow up. Could you not touch me? Can't you see? I'm thirsty. I'm dying to fit in. I'm trying hard to get a win. I'm thirsty; I'm open, willing, and eager. I don't even think twice if you are dangerous. I don't even think twice, knowing they were never serious. I'm tempted and curious for honest love. It always bites me, though; I'm the poster child of the tarot fool. Don't look at me. I'm so scared, and the world here is not fair. There is no consideration for the naive. This world is not for the weak; be wise of those thieves. I'm recovering. I'm trusting, feeling my way through. Breathe in and breathe out. I'm shaky; I'm not perfect. I'm flaky, I'm timid. I need to take this step by step. I'm shaky, but I'm getting stronger. I'm no longer that other girl I was once before. I'm walking, I'm talking. I'm slowly seeing the truth; I'm slowly facing it all. I'm writing and singing. My passion is immense. My passion is a vast, beautiful portrait of an ocean. Smooth as I go, boundaries up, lessons are leaning. Those fears were nothing but the death of me. Those fears are the packed shadows in me. I needed to feel those fears in all their extremities. I am grateful and relieved to walk the path. The journey of direction is to flow and let go. Embrace.