Trailer Park Body (

I could not afford a Bow Flex, costs too much I get diagrams to build my own from a man named Henry Clutch The instructions say if I build it right It will make me lean and my stomach tight The first step, according to the instructions, is to collect empty beer bottles and cans I go across the road to see Inez and Stan They open their closet and tell me to take what I need from empties in here I was kind of disappointed when none of them were from Busch Beer They ask me what are they for, I tell them they're for a hobby I smile as I see myself in 32 weeks with a trailer park body The next step is to collect some full sand bags, I know who to contact, the National Guard I know a female Sargeant there, he name is Louise, but her troops call her Black Bart She has the looks of her dad Stew But she has a singing voice like Julie Andrews She hooks me up with three full sand bags, which is more than I need Step three I can't do, it would violate the trailer park creed I guess cheaper isn't always the way to go I bragged to my wife about the new me, but now I must eat crow I decided to use the stuff I collected to decorate the front yard, but my wife said it would look too gaudy I look around at the heroes here at the park and realize that after all I do have a trailer park body Now I am back to square one This trailer park is rippin' and roarin' fun That couch sitting out in front of lot nine After it's dark it will be mine