Toxic Relationship at its finest

Shoot me down. Say your worst. Stupid and dumb, I heard it all. With a vengeance, you even called me a bad mom It's louder and louder. The neighbors can hear. I'm just stunned, stuck like a deer. The triggers inside of me. I hold back tears, and I can't even see. Let me catch my breath. You sucked the life out of me. You took all my energy, my inner G. Let me sink further into the depths of my soul. It has a big hole. Hidden from sight, hidden from people. It wasn't very comfortable how they would look at me. Shut up and stay quiet, then also say, "What you want the world to see." Mask on, smile up. Another game to play and times up. Back again, tip-toe around. I can't believe how you are slowly breaking me down. Don't save me. Pushing, threatening, it's all exhausting. I can't believe you put your hands on me. I can't believe you took my little heart and threatened me. I thought you were different. In public, it's like a different sight. I'm tired of this feeling. You were making this situation a trauma. The little ones here, and you still don't care. You are a reflection of my lack of care. A projection of the weight I bear. Lack of health. Lack of momentum. Now I look back, and I sacrificed a lot of my life. It has been a Rollercoaster, and I held you too damn close. Love wasn't enough after all. Love was distorted and twisted. When I would leave, you never did miss me. Gaslight like this was a normal couple thing. I took it all inside, driving me insane. Now I am here at my wit's end Another argument, eh, I'm tired of it. I'm sick of arguing. Now I am here at my wit's end Another argument, eh, I'm tired of it. Sick of being a fool. I'm sick of drowning in another deep pool. I can only save myself; I need some help. God will not forsake me. God will not abandon me. I'm taking this leap, and maybe I'm a fool I don't care; I'm tired of being someone's tool. I'm tired of you feeling I'm the toxic one. I ask for repentance; forgive my sins. Confusion and delusional, I'm accountable for my end. Don't save her; the healing begins; I must be the hermit again. I call these Toxic Relationships at their finest. The first step is admitting your part and how you got that far. It's time to wake up and face your absolute truth. Hurt people hurt people. Remember, your soul already has its problems to bear. Not everyone will be on your path, and that's okay. God's got you. Take Care ?? ??