Took a Poem To a Knife Fight

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My poem examines how a the trauma of a lost love can trigger a self destructive course of behaviour.

I lost my mind somewhere between the seconds ticking God left and the devil punched in Stray winds dark and long blew coldly on my paper sails as things I thought I knew sank away down into lightless fathoms And when in answer to my begging letters a bashful dawn bled in I made her promises that somewhere deep within I knew I’d only go and break

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Ink Empress

Date: 9/29/2023 2:17:00 PM

Brilliant word weaving, very creative way of expressing here and your title really is unique and very soul hitting, drew me to read this poem. I especially love the way you’ve written “ a bashful dawn bled in” the way you’ve described the depth of emotions in various ways using nature and imagery is clever and artistic! Profound poem! Loved this

Jonty Pennington-Twist
Date: 9/29/2023 3:45:00 PM

Most kind of you to give my poem some of your time, and to speak so positively of it. Sincere thanks, J

Tom Woody

Date: 8/21/2023 9:03:00 AM

Outstanding free verse Jonty. Welcome to PS

Jonty Pennington-Twist
Date: 8/21/2023 1:50:00 PM

Thank you kindly Tom, for the welcome and for taking the time to read my piece. All the best, J

Beata Agustin

Date: 8/18/2023 8:06:00 AM

Thanks for sharing this... exposing your love-propelled thoughts through your unique poetic style. Welcome to Poetry Soup. I welcome you with the love of the Lord, expressed by John 3:16 of the Bible, "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life." Be blessed.

Jonty Pennington-Twist
Date: 8/21/2023 1:51:00 PM

Thank you Beata, it's great to be part of the soup!

John Hamilton

Date: 8/17/2023 9:36:00 AM

Enjoyed this write Jonty, my first time reading you and your style is very appealing. Heartbreak is the best impetus to great writing, well done!

Jonty Pennington-Twist
Date: 8/17/2023 10:00:00 AM

Many thanks John and Ii think you're right, love's keen sting is a quite the source! Cheers, J

Lin Lane

Date: 8/17/2023 6:28:00 AM

Hello Jonty, I was expecting to read lines about the pen being mightier than the sword, but I found nothing resembling that thought. Lost love triggers many emotions. Your lines about stray winds being dark on your paper sails is a great foreshadowing moment in your poem. The line I liked most is "a bashful dawn bled..." In it I got a double meaning... the color of dawn and the depth of your pain.

Jonty Pennington-Twist
Date: 8/17/2023 7:56:00 AM

My thanks. It's wonderful how one poem can be seen from so many angles. I'm glad there was something in there that chimed. Warmest regards, J.