To Grow Old
I am going to grow old
suddenly.
it will happen one day
while eating peanut butter
worrying about a lie I told
thirty-seven years ago
wondering whatever happened
to that one special girl
absently watching but not
comprehending
some old blurry
near-memorized
perry mason
episodes
while Oppenheimer's
borrowed eyes conceal
a black and white mind
become a hummingbird now
but not a regular hummingbird
instead a drunken listless
embarrassed spastic wreck
of a dark hummingbird
bouncing off walls
spitting and
cursing
I am going to grow old
suddenly.
it will happen one day
the moon appearing
and disappearing
only my ancestors
may count these seasons
this empty coliseum
now lacking
a hero
or crowd
the dust in his teeth
reminds him
that the christians
and the lions
left together long ago
their memories
and yours
like fiery
tumbleweeds
for the
prairie
mind
I am going to grow old
suddenly.
it will happen one day
a hardly remembered
mummy
with crown of white hair
the boot-heel king
old briar
blissfully unaware
the fragile conspiracy
of synapse
absently clicking through
channels
with his box full of hints
that he gave up for lent
some tobacco
and stained
flannels
I am going to grow old
suddenly.
it will happen one day
and no one will be here
to know
the last man on earth
yet negotiating for space
for the digging of holes
for the burying of jars
for the cataloging
of clever treasures
a plump endless cycle
known only to him
delicate old brain
always fluttering
now folding up
the origami
of years
Copyright © Clifford Dehaven | Year Posted 2011
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