To Bare My Bones

Sometimes I visit pro-anoretic 
things

Out of curiosity
Out of concern
A desire to relate?
A strange urge to study the 
sick.

Am I one of them?

But every time
The more thinspiration
Self-motivation
And self-hatred that I see,

The hungrier I get
The more I feel my waist
The more I notice the softness 
of my flesh
The pleasant give of my arms
The rolling contrast of my 
proportions
The more I regard “squish” 
With fondness.

And when I feel bone 
Jut through a pillow of body
I regard it with distaste,
As I would a jagged corner
Jutting through a bedroom 
pillow,

This interruption of that which 
is 
Soft and warm and comforting. 
I care little about what look is 
yielded 
By something so thoroughly 
nice to feel, 
Whose presence exists to be 
touched. 

And to delve into boneculture,
A figure so opposite as to repel 
everything,
To repel food is to repel touch
To repel human contact
The basis of humanity
To become inhuman untainted 
by other humans,

Is repellant to me.

Though it is to be said 
That I am able to revel in being 
human,
To have power in my human 
needs
Without need to have power 
over them.

As such
I see my ribs, I feel sick
I wish to cover them
They interrupt my humanness,
To bare my skeleton is to walk 
dead.

I cover them
With muscle, with enough 
Adipose for a nice give,
Whatever I determine that to be,

Because I am alive
And crave contact
And am human
And those things are beautiful.
Copyright © | Year Posted 2013

Poem

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Jones Avatar
June 24, 2013 at 6:22 PM
This is wonderful..congratulations
Secrest Avatar
June 22, 2013 at 5:04 PM
Congratulations on your win! This was an excellent poem.
Gildersleeve Avatar
June 20, 2013 at 3:21 PM
Congratulation on your excellent win. Welcome to PS. I look forward in reading more of your poems. Warm Smiles, Connie
A   Avatar
June 20, 2013 at 1:37 PM
Nic, ;-) Congratulations!!! Thank you for entering one of my latest contest. please enjoy all the other winners who took their time in entering the same contest you did. you can find the list on the -Contest Winners: Member area- or you can visit my newest blog called ""from HEART to HEART ..."" stop by if you like. always & forever *LINDA
Sibanda Avatar
May 7, 2013 at 2:29 PM
Scintillating read.
Andresen Avatar
May 7, 2013 at 5:19 AM
- A skilled poem Nicole, really good! - Have a nice day. - oxox / / Anne-Lise :)
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