Tmfb -Incomplete-
To my future boyfriend I do not want a “price charming”. I do not need to be rescued from this ivory tower that I have built around myself to protect myself-worth and esteem that so many boys before you have left trampled and damaged in defeat without even a glance back. I do not want some Henry Cavill, crew cut, perfectly chiseled chest, hair slikced back, predatory white smile of a boy disguised as a man. But when I yell down to you that I am okay up here I know you’ll attempt to climb it anyway.
To my future boyfriend, I have set myself up so high that I simply cannot be touched. guarded by dragons built out of doubt and distrust. I’m sorry I’ve grown accustomed to protecting myself because my father died when I was two and my half-brother left when I was four. So I never really learned how to look a grown man in the eye or ever heard one say, “ It’s okay I got you, I’ll always be here no matter what.” Instead I learned to be independent, self-reliant listened as my mother and sister’s said, “ Its okay fathers day isn’t that important anyway.”
To my future boyfriend I won’t make you sit through a rom-com snuggling up on the couch as I dreamily wish it were us riding away into the sunset. Because I know those sunsets don’t last that those astonishing shades of blue’s, pink’s, and orange will become dull and fade over time.
To my future boyfriend there will be day’s that I won’t even recognize myself day’s I’ll sit and wonder “Who are you really?” But I hope you’ll come and search for those missing pieces with me dust them off and glue them back together so maybe I can finally see the other half of me that stare’s back at me in the mirror. That when you whisper you love my body will become ridged my heart will tighten its chains and my mouth will utter complete ******** as I tell you love is just a word that holds no meaning to what I feel for you. Because love is exactly what I feel for you and words will never be able explain how my heart thunders like a summer storm in late June just from a quick kiss goodbye as you leave.
Copyright © Lisette Nichols | Year Posted 2015
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