Thy Sorry State May Soon Be Descried

A Parody of Sir Philip Sidney's Sonnet 31 from Astrophel and Stella With wobbly steps, O Youth, thou climb'st the stairs! How clumsily and with how red a face! What! Dost thou trip and fall about the place and pray thy folks sleep soundly, unawares? Perhaps thy little brother who now sees thee fall can be persuaded not to race and broadcast to the house thy plunge from grace. Thou could'st bribe him with money and say "PLEASE!" Whil'st thou cling to the handrail, bleary-eyed, now in thy shameful state, O Youth, pray tell are friends thou partied with, like thee, unwell— in fear, lest their condition be descried? Those youth who guzzle beer in lieu of milk will bring ignominy on all their ilk. May 9, 2015