Thy Sorry State May Soon Be Descried
A Parody of Sir Philip Sidney's Sonnet 31 from Astrophel and Stella
With wobbly steps, O Youth, thou climb'st the stairs!
How clumsily and with how red a face!
What! Dost thou trip and fall about the place
and pray thy folks sleep soundly, unawares?
Perhaps thy little brother who now sees
thee fall can be persuaded not to race
and broadcast to the house thy plunge from grace.
Thou could'st bribe him with money and say "PLEASE!"
Whil'st thou cling to the handrail, bleary-eyed,
now in thy shameful state, O Youth, pray tell
are friends thou partied with, like thee, unwell—
in fear, lest their condition be descried?
Those youth who guzzle beer in lieu of milk
will bring ignominy on all their ilk.
May 9, 2015
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