Thru Maritime Miles

Thru maritime miles of minions in motion We hedge our opinions while pledging devotion To serving the Captain and sharing our smiles Through barrels of onions and flea-bearing trials But even the pirates who pose in a rumble Are learning the merits of those who are humble The path of our choosing where sinning is pleasure Is better for losing than winning a treasure I plunged overboard when I soared off a plank At the point of a sword and a sore lady's prank The captain's first mate made her daddy agree That my fate was a date with the fish in the sea I knew she was baiting my body at brunch To catch me in waiting and serve me for lunch All pirates are worthy to fish and to feast But no one should make me a dish for a beast From well on the brink to a splash in the sink I fell in a flash for a female fink I knew she was watching me fall in the tank And laughing discreetly with daddy to thank I should have resisted the words that she said But when she persisted they went to my head I told her I loved her but so did my mate Who never returned from his very first date It seems bloody retching but fatefully true When somebody fetching is fatal for you You flee from the danger but fractured you find That pretty young stranger has captured your mind You think that she needs you for making a start But she really knees you for breaking apart A mob in her keep is the poorest of help Who force you to leap in a forest of kelp Though mad as an adder I drifted from reach To bob like a bladder in search of a beach The Great White beside me was my willing host To have me for dinner and eat me the most Then something resembling a storm with a tail Came surging at me in the form of a whale I lost my composure and when I passed out She tossed me all over to sit on her spout Upon this brave lady who skirted the water I fled for my life from the ship captain's daughter She brought me to land on the girth of her blubber To flip me ashore like a lousy landlubber From deep in the sea to a seat by a seal The freedom I keep is a cheap kind of deal The beach that I sleep on is sunny and hot So happy to be where my honey is not...