Thru Maritime Miles-Introduction

My name is Columbus and this part is true I sailed with pirates and did what they do I took from the snooty and gave to myself But only the booty they save on a shelf I kissed a young lady who killed for a lark And gave up my job for a date with a shark I fled for my life on the back of a whale And led my own crew with a black pirate sail I nearly was killed by the same lady twice Who finished the game with a bucket of ice I married a maiden who said I’m a fool And carried the day with a ship for a school I sought all the children who thought I was bad And taught them to win by the talents they had I rented the crew of an old pirate ship And carried my class on their ultimate trip I followed my wish to be one with the sea And swallowed my dish in a moment of glee I fumbled my test to be first in my class And rumbled my best to be cursed by a lass I brought my own crew to the brink of a dream To lose what I had for the sake of a scheme I fought for the cause that was lost from the start And won by the clout of a man with a heart The lady I married is perfect for me She captured my love in a house by the sea She mannered my day in the way that I dress And taught me to play in a game of success We won and we lost in the spirit of fun We gave and we got for the good that we won In perilous times when our fate was at stake We started with punch and we finished with cake I sailed with cutthroats for many a trip The captain was crazy but easy to flip I learned about pirates by doing my job And learning to fight by the rules of a mob I had a great time with the cast of our crew And learned a few tricks in a scuffle or two I thought I was set for the rest of my life Except for the bet of a beautiful wife Then something big happened which I can confirm We gathered our stuff for a new pirate term We left our own homes for the crew to report Then somebody’s lady appeared at the port The lady, it seems, was not there for a date In fact, she arrived, as the captain’s first mate His daughter was dressed for a bout with success And that is the way I got into this mess. . .