Thoughts

I don't know where my absolutes lie Where am I defined Has there been a point I was set in time When I'm with friends on my own The reception I get is different from home Which version is the correct me Why do I reside viewed as someone I don't want to be I reject the turned tables The scrutinised look When I try to share some joy no interest is took The lack of affection Just dutiful deeds I crave so much that you say I shouldn't need I'd like to be told I stand out in a crowd Perhaps you could read some of the words I write down I've watched other people to see what love is An arm round a shoulder, hand or face is carressed Whilst I stick to my side and you stick to yours In arguments, on sofas in or out of doors I'm tired of thinking is it you or is it me Both stating too often the end we foresee If only you watched me when I am up close Instead of monitoring my whereabouts when I leave the house Just lately my feelings spill out so much more I'm not sure what I did with these emotions before I feel like an object not meeting the spec Out of warranty but not quite obsolete yet Do I sit around just waiting to die Cleaning the house, suggesting a tie Two decades is enough versions to see You liked me the most before owning me I hear sound bites suggesting what love means How can it be here if I'm not even seen But I know what I'll do, I'll just sit it out Forget who I am, my life's value in doubt