This Poem May Kill Me, Or Not

Notes: I am putting the notes upfront, suicide is no laughing matter, however, anything that makes it something that can be discussed I think is a good thing. Humor really is an aid to many an illness. Note the poem starts with a reason, when someone is at the point of suicide, there is NO reason. It is an illness like any other. Also inside humor and innuendo is meaning. Enough said. I went to the casino of love last night I placed a bet on romantic seven Lost all my chips, ain’t going to heaven Broke me heart Lowered head, I walked back to the car park Next morning I woke up Put a gun to my head Click Click Click Click I can’t even win at Russian roulette Need a change, to get away Mending the pain or soul, some might say Took a plane to Bengal Ended up in beuruit Walked right into the middle of a war or 2 Explosions all over, around me head Thank god, soon I shall be dead I saw a terrorist with a real mean look I waved hello, shoot me, shoot me!!! I am sure he would have given a chance But someone else tossed into him a lance Seems even in a war I can’t make myself dead Sadly I lost at even this deadly dance Then an explosions tossed me sky high Was i going to heaven, was this my grand demise? No, I landed in the sea and just on time For a cruise ship to save me, soul and all Off too Florida it seems Death sure has some gall I was walking along a sunny beach When all of a sudden two gangs appeared One Cuban, one Mexican, they sure looked mean Two gangs known as killing machines Here is me smack in the middle My lucky day, for how could I lose Suicide was assured, come on, you know it I yelled to both of them I am DEA, and I think all of you queers are very very gay That out to get me the bullet I wish What the hell, they all dropped their guns and surrendered I admit I was starting to be mighty offended So now I have this Medal of Honor For saving a community of drugs and plunder I just can’t win at the casino of life I can get myself killed no matter the plight So back home I go What the hell I’ll fill the bathtub And give that a go You think I’m bragging or boasting of death I am serious, this will work, why drowning for sure What could go wrong? with such a fine plan? All I want to be is a dead dead man So yes, I fill up the tub with water and suds I down some pills, some booze and some bud I am drifting off, to my purgatory bliss When I hear an alarm the wakes me What’a darn ***** The buildings on fire, ok I can burn in my sorrow Except the bathtub collapses and doses the fire I am a loser, this is for sure They gave me Medal of Honor again For saving all the seniors by making it rain I am not dead, and I am not happy Seems I can’t accomplish Even my death Even this task I make a mess Now I am curious, I have to ask Have any readers killed themselves yet? This tale that’s a mess, being alive is giving me stress If not read on, it’s gonna get better Someone I will succeed at this suicidal adventure OK now a bridge I hear is a good place to die Not to hard, you jump and say good bye I can do that, doesn’t seem hard So now I stand on a Golden Gate Bridge Happy at last that life will be over All of a sudden a huge shaking occurs, An earthquake , oh lucky me maybe the bridge will collapse Not to be and you know that now, it tosses me infront of a car The car brakes and halts and honks its horn Till it sees the crack in the road just up ahead If not for me falling right right there That car would be the one drowning in the ocean of despair They jumped out and hugged me and kissed me with thanks Apparently I saved an ambulance full of pre mature babies You know what happens next, and don’t you go crying Another Medal of Honor for me, a hero without trying! What the hell I give up This suicide profession is harder than you think Hell I might as well go back to my whiskey and drinks Live in the darkness, and pray that one day Life has enough meaning that I wish to actually stay So now that these ideas so dark and so deadly I have discarded without hope, so now I will be friendly I will join the world of human souls and laughter Even if inside I still lack such basic character No more silly ideas of death I need to move on and make life the best So off to the store, to get me some groceries A new leaf I have turned and I confess to a smile When I am crossing the street, I see to my horror That I am hit by a bus, and finally no damn tomorrows